


Rainfall

by DuaeCat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuaeCat/pseuds/DuaeCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe is full of endless possibilities, so why does it seem like they all turn out wrong? Ezra's not feeling well and there's still a job to do. What else can go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The planet Eritt wasn’t much like Lothal at all, even if it was also classified as an outer rim agricultural planet. Instead of plains and grassland there were forests over most of the uninhabited spaces, ranging from thickly canopied giants in the warmer regions to more sparse prickly evergreens closer to the poles. Ezra wasn’t entirely sure if the constant rains were planetwide or just everywhere they happened to go, but that was the other biggest difference. Instead of being clear, slightly chilly, and dry most of the year Eritt was wet most of the year. A good day was foggy and grey with a light drizzle on and off, a bad one meant Ezra wasn’t sure how anything could survive unprotected without drowning, and sometimes the downpour was accompanied by thunder and lightning that could be felt clearly even inside the Ghost.

Ezra wasn’t sure if the lack of anything resembling Lothal made him any more or less homesick, but it took him less than a day to decide he thoroughly hated all the changes. Even if the cheap wet weather gear had fit correctly (it didn’t) and managed to keep from leaking (not a chance) the damp got into everything. Even when it wasn’t actively raining it was hot and muggy during the day and cold and clammy at night. If it wasn’t for the fact it was very conveniently located to hyperspace lanes and hosted a relatively huge and unguarded shipping port he’d question Hera’s decision to stay so long. As it was, even just the knowledge of what was going where was invaluable to the rest of the rebellion. Sabine had flawlessly made her way to the inside, passing as a low level Imperial supply clerk where between her and Chopper they could reroute important supplies, cover up minor thefts and hide the trail. Eventually someone would figure out that there were supposed to be six crates instead of five, or that the fuel shipment was supposed to be taking a safe route instead of pirate and rebel infested space, but it would be nearly impossible to tell where the screw up had happened. That was the plan anyway, and unless (until) the plan went south and they were found out it meant the rest of the crew was stuck doing the grunt work and keeping their heads down

Ezra made his way to one of the gun ports, peering out through the film of water coating the clear material and trying to judge the weather before sliding down the ladder to head to the galley where Zeb was already eating his own breakfast.

“Looks like a foggy one today.” He offered, clearing his throat to try and get rid of the nagging tickle feeling that he’d woken up with. Zeb grunted in response.

“Supposed to start raining again in a few hours, chance it’ll turn into a downpour by afternoon. Such a surprise.” Zeb grumbled it, not looking up from his food.

“Wonderful.” Ezra rummaged, looking for something hot to drink that wasn’t caf. Normally he wouldn’t be interested knowing the heat that waited outside of the Ghost’s comfortable temperature controlled climate, but maybe it would ease his throat. He thought Sabine had a stash of teas somewhere, but either she’d hid them in her room or taken them with her when she moved into the Imperial housing. Either way he settled for some juice instead, sitting down at the table. “Not a chance we’re doing something inside today?

“Sorry, not a chance.” Kanan poked his head in to watch them. “Huge shipment of mining explosives coming in and we need to make sure they get on the wrong ship, and that means loading them ourselves as much as possible so no one notices anything unusual.”

“You know, it would go a lot faster if you and Zeb were the ones unloading and I drove the transport.” Ezra said hopefully.

“Not a chance, kid. You’re barely old enough for the driving test as is, hazardous materials take extra licensing.” Kanan said.

“It wouldn’t be that hard to get around that.” Ezra pointed out, even if he was fairly sure it wouldn’t do any good. “Why start playing by the rules now?”

“Because the more obviously we break them the more chance we have of blowing Sabine’s cover. Be ready to leave in 30.”

“Good try, but looks like you’re stuck with me standing in the rain.” Zeb reached over to playfully pop at his shoulder with a fist.

“Uh huh. I think I’ve become numb to the smell of wet Lasat by now.” Ezra swatted at his arm just as casually, then finished off his juice in a couple gulps. That was a mistake and he coughed when the liquid stung instead of easing the tickle.

“Easy, don’t choke. Too many opportunities to drown out there to do it in here, eh?” Zeb grinned at him.

“Real funny.” Ezra rolled his eyes, smiling. “I think that sounds like I deserve to get changed first.”

 

* * *

 

Ezra finished getting his gear on, rubbing at the outside of his throat as if that would ease the ache that just seemed to be steadily getting worse and finally admitted to himself he wasn’t just tired. He was getting sick. The last thing he wanted to do was spend all day hauling crates in the rain.

“Kanan?” It took poking around half the ship before he finally found him in the cargo hold, touching up some of the waterproofing on one of the speeders.

“Yeah? What is it?” Kanan applied the last of the sealant before he glanced up.

“I don’t think I can do it today. I don’t feel that great. I think I’m coming down with something.”

“How do you feel?” Kanan stood, pressing the backs of his fingers to Ezra’s forehead, then the side of his neck. “It doesn’t feel like you’ve got a fever.”

“I’m tired and my throat’s sore.”

“Open up and tilt your head back so I can look?” Kanan waited until Ezra obediently opened his mouth to lean in, tilting his chin a little to get the light better and peering in at his throat. “I don’t really see anything. If you don’t think you can do this at all I’m not going to make you, but we do need you out there today. If you’re not there they’ll assign someone else and they might ask questions. Do you think you can manage?”

“If I have to, but…” Ezra looked away once Kanan let go of his chin. “You did say if someone was feeling hurt or sick before a mission they should say something.”

“I did. I know it’s not all that exciting and probably doesn’t feel like we’re doing much, but we are. After this shipment we’ll have several days off, so try and think of it that way?” Kanan gave him an encouraging smile.

“It’s not that it’s boring, I know this is important, but…”

“I’ll get the thermometer. If you’ve got a fever you can stay and we’ll figure something out, alright?”

“Alright.” Ezra followed as Kanan got the device from the med kit and held it to his ear. He held still until the thermometer beeped. “What’s it say?”

“Normal.” Kanan gently ruffled his hair.

Ezra sighed “Guess I can manage one more day.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Kanan smiled encouragingly and then went to grab his jacket, Ezra right behind him.

 

* * *

 

Zeb made a soft annoyed grunt as he gently eased the crate into place, holding it still while Ezra grabbed the strapping to ensure it didn’t go anywhere in flight. The equipment had gone in first and that went quickly enough, but the explosives themselves required delicate handling. It slowed them down to a crawl, with both of them working on each individual crate instead of taking multiple at a time. The only good thing was it took just as long to get them loaded onto the smaller transport for Kanan to shuttle out to the ship.

“How many more loads after this?” Ezra checked the fastenings before stepping away, straightening up and rubbing at his shoulders. Talking was getting more painful and it meant that their usual back and forth banter was almost non-existent. He missed it a lot more than he thought he would, the good natured grumbling and insults made things go a great deal faster. Sometimes if he was in a good mood Zeb would even tell stories from before he joined the Ghost crew, details deliberately sparse just in case anyone was listening in.

“Just one or two.” Zeb started trudging back out to the ramp of the ship to see if there was any sign of Kanan yet.

“I’m going to grab a snack then. You want anything?”

“Nah, rather wait until we’re done and get some real food. But you go ahead, just don’t take too long.”

“Back in a flash.” Ezra smiled, stepping back out into the rain and heading towards the small mess hall. It wasn’t much, but there was free food provided for the workers, or at least free in the sense that a small portion of the paycheck went towards it. It also wasn’t much to speak of, mostly cheap packaged rations and cheaper caf. Once in a while there was fresh fruit, but if it was worth eating it got grabbed up quickly. As far as Ezra could tell from listening to the other workers talking, it honestly hadn’t changed that much since the Empire took control. Eritt had always specialized in exports, from exotic woods to make luxury furniture and knick-knacks, as well as spices for those who preferred the natural version over the cheaper synthetic counterparts. The spaceport hadn’t needed many upgrades to turn it from mainly exporting and importing goods, to a useful shipping hub for the Empire. Some people were happy that the cargo was different, some were annoyed, but that was fairly typical. Everyone hated management, but Ezra wasn’t sure how much of that was because the Imperials were terrible and how much of it was everyone always liked to blame the people in charge.

Right now all Ezra cared about was that it was far too long a walk to the mess hall. About halfway there he wished he’d not bothered. He just wanted to sit and rest, and once he grabbed something to drink he’d be turning right around to trudge back. He hated feeling this tired and weak, where a brisk walk across the port made him winded, and he only made the mistake of opening his mouth to pant once. Finally though he was stepping out of the rain and into the mess, tugging his hood back to look around and reaching to his pocket for his registration card.

His empty pocket.

“Karabast.”

“Is there a problem?”

Ezra turned a little too quickly, he hadn’t even noticed the security officer nearby.

“Uh, no, no problem, I was just heading back…” Ezra tried to inch away.

“Back where? Let’s see your security clearance. And speak up”

“I have it, I swear, I just left it back in my room. I can get it, or someone can get it for me.” Ezra scowled as his shoulder was roughly grabbed.

“That’s enough, come with me.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra tucked his knees up to his chest, staring at the wall of the detention cell and trying to figure out what he was going to do. Any other time it would be easy, it barely qualified as a cell. It was more for holding drunk or unruly workers… or people without a proper ID until things got sorted out. He could have been out of it in a matter of minutes, even feeling horrible. He just wasn’t entirely sure if that would be the best thing to do.

If he stayed there was a chance they’d find out something was up, they were specifically trying not to attract attention. But escaping might attract even more attention and then if anyone remembered that he was working with Kanan and Zeb it could blow it for all of them. He felt a fat drop of water splat against his shoulder and tried to tug the raincoat and hood a little better around himself. They weren’t particularly concerned with the comfort of anyone tossed in the cell and there were scattered drips from the rain seeping through the building material and adding to the puddles already on the floor. Ezra really hoped the puddles were just rainwater, but he wasn’t about to go investigating too closely. It was horribly unfair that he was still thirsty, and the dripping and condensation just seemed to taunt him.

He couldn’t tell if the cell was kept uncomfortably cold or if the weather had just turned cooler outside. Either way his clothes felt clammy and cold against his skin, refusing to warm. He shifted, putting his legs down so he could kick at the metal leg of the hard uncomfortable chair, trying not to wince when he swallowed. It always felt like swallowing might ease the ache in his throat, and every time it just turned into a stabbing pain that faded back to the ache after a moment. He didn’t even know if anyone else knew what happened to him, or how long it would take someone else from the Ghost crew to even realize he was missing. He’d finally decided that no matter what, if he didn’t hear from someone by nightfall he was breaking himself out when he heard voices outside, straightening up when he could make out Kanan’s voice on the other side of the door.

“A kid forgetting his ID once hardly seems like a good reason to lock him away all day long. Do you know how much longer it took without him? You want to be the one to explain why the boss has to authorize overtime like this?”

“Rules are there for a reason, if I’d overlooked a security breach of someone wandering around unauthorized….” The other voice was unfamiliar, but the accent was unmistakably Imperial.

“Well he’s authorized now, next time maybe take five seconds and ask someone who knows what’s going on, eh? Coulda been cleared up hours ago.” Kanan used rougher speech patterns on the job, not the exaggerated accent he used when he played at being drunk, but something that fit in with the other human workers. At the moment it was thick with irritation and Ezra shifted on his feet, unsure how much of that was actually directed at him and how much was just for show. Finally the door was opened up and Kanan and the security officer stood framed in it.

Kanan took several quick steps inside, tugging Ezra’s hood back roughly and then waving the ID slip in the security officer’s direction. “See, it’s Cal.”

“Fine, he can go. But don’t make a slip up like that again.” The last was directed at Ezra and he just nodded. Kanan put a hand to his back, urging him out of the cell and into the hallway. Ezra yanked the hood back up before anything else could drip on him and reached for the ID, putting it in its proper pocket.

Ezra waited until they were halfway to the speeders before he spoke. “Thanks.” He kept his voice down, as much because a whisper hurt less as because it attracted less attention.

Kanan kept his voice just as low “They like finding some excuse to make an example of someone every couple weeks at least, I’m not exactly happy you forgot your reg card and gave them a reason, but it wasn’t entirely your fault.”

Ezra flinched a little at that and then straightened up, patting the pocket. “It won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t.” Kanan patted his back lightly. “And the loading job was finished without a problem, you just worried us until we heard they’d dragged someone off for being on site without a reg card and figured things out.”  
  
They made their way to where the one speeder bike was parked in relative silence.

“Zeb went ahead and took the other back.” Kanan looked like he was waiting for some sort of protest, but Ezra just nodded, climbing up behind him. Normally he preferred to drive and Zeb preferred to ride, but there was no reason the Lasat had to stick around when he wasn’t needed. Ezra was just as glad he’d gone on, it meant he wasn’t there to tease him just yet about forgetting, and it gave him an excuse to just relax, wrapping his arms loosely around Kanan’s waist and ducking his head down where Kanan’s body blocked the rain.

He didn’t exactly doze, falling asleep probably would have meant falling for real, but the ride out to where the Ghost was parked was uneventful enough that he could relax and let himself drift a little. It seemed to take nearly no time at all before the speeder was slowing and then coming to a stop at the ramp. He peered around as he slid off the side of the bike so Kanan could walk it in, spotting Hera waiting for them and swallowing with a wince. He was used to being able to at least try to talk his way out of situations.

“How did it go on your end?” Hera’s voice sounded concerned, but not the tight sarcastic tone she got when she was angry and Ezra relaxed a little.

“It went fine. As best I could tell it was an ordinary arrest and no one suspected anything was off about it. Have you heard from Sabine?” Kanan pushed the bike into the hanger to drip and started tugging off his rain gear to keep from tracking water all over the ship.

“She said it looks like they were due to make an example of someone and there’s no unusual activity in or out, so we should be clear.” Hera helped get the gear away then turned to take Ezra’s coat, frowning a little as she looked over him. “Ezra? You’re being awfully quiet.”

Ezra shrugged, fighting with the fastenings to his boots, they seemed to be extra stubborn.

“Ezra, look at me?” Hera moved closer, starting to sound worried.

“Sorry, throat’s kind of sore, hurts to talk.” Ezra tried to smile, speaking softly and then trying to move around her to put his boots away.

She didn’t let him get too far, peering at his face and then quickly tugging a glove off to reach out and feel his cheek. “Ezra, you’re burning up.”

“He’s what?” Kanan startled at that, appearing beside her quickly enough that it nearly looked like he’d discovered a way to teleport. “He didn’t have a fever this morning.”

Ezra felt torn between embarrassment at the close scrutiny, and a sort of weirdly triumphant feeling at being vindicated. The second didn’t last too long when his body reminded him that the price of being right was wanting to curl up in a little ball until everything stopped feeling horrible.

“Wait, you knew he was sick this morning?” Hera’s eyes narrowed and she leaned forward to stare up at Kanan.

“He said his throat was sore, there wasn’t anything else and he didn’t have a fever, so I thought…”

“So you thought you’d drag him out in the rain and make sure he got one?” Her voice was sharp enough that Kanan took a step back.

“You’re right, it was a dumb move and I’m sorry, but none of this is going to help Ezra right now.” Kanan gestured to his fairly bedraggled looking padawan.

Hera nodded, not looking entire happy, tugging her glove back on sharply and reaching to take Ezra’s shoulder and steering him towards the ladder. “Go get dry clothes on and Kanan will get the first aid kit. Don’t worry about putting your gear up.”

Ezra nodded, climbing up the ladder, not going to argue if it meant he could get dry and warmed up faster.

 

* * *

 

  
Ezra held still while Kanan shined the light down his throat, looking in and wincing.

“Yeah, it looks pretty bad now, and you’ve got the fever to go with it.” Kanan put the light away and unwrapped a couple pills. “These should help with both of those. Any new symptoms bothering you?

Ezra shook his head, taking the pills and the glass of water, swallowing them and unable to hide the flinch as it felt like they scraped over raw skin going down. “No, just hurts and I feel horrible.” His voice was a rough whisper, it didn’t really hurt his throat any more that way. If he wasn’t forced to he had no intention of trying to talk normally for a while.

“At least you’ve got the next few days off?”

Ezra rolled his eyes, reaching to get the blanket and unfold it, wrapping it around his shoulders and hunkering down.

“Sorry, however long you need to get feeling better is fine. Is there anything you need?”

Ezra thought for a long moment, then shook his head. He wanted a lot, most of it completely impossible.

“Then if you change your mind, no one’s going to be too far away, and we’ll be checking in on you. Try to get some rest.” Kanan patted his shoulder, dimming the lights for him and stepping out.


	3. Chapter 3

Kanan stared at the shelf covered in various medications that all claimed to be better at easing a sore throat than the one next to it, feeling a little lost. He picked up one, reading over the back and skimming to at least see if it said what species it was for or if it made a difference when he heard the store owner politely clearing his throat behind him. The older human male was the only other person in the store at this time of night.

“You’re not about to close are you?” Kanan knew it was fairly late, but when Ezra had been trying and failing to get any sleep, even as exhausted as he obviously was, he volunteered to run out and see if there was anything that would work more effectively than the low grade general painkillers they had. He was reluctant to jump right to the stronger ones since they carried more risks and the potential for side effects.

“Just seeing if you needed any help. Got a kid with the pyrthroat?”

“Pyrthroat?”

“New here? “ The shopkeeper waited until the cautious nod before continuing “Fever and sore throat without a cough or the sniffles? And they go from perfectly fine to sick as a swamprat before you can turn around?”

“That sounds about right. There something here for it?” Kanan gestured at the wall of medicine.

“My kid had it last month. These work the best.” The shopkeeper grabbed two bottles, holding them up for Kanan to see.

Kanan tried not to make a face at the price. Oral bacta was expensive. “You sure those are the best?”

“Yeah, it’s a fungal infection, s’why it pops up a lot more this time of year when it starts getting hot. Means it’s not contagious from person to person, but without treatment it can last weeks. The other stuff’s to deal with the symptoms.”

“What about pills? They’re a little cheaper.” Kanan took the bacta, eyeing the other bottle.

The shopkeeper chuckled “Good luck getting ‘em to swallow pills. Plus the liquid numbs up the throat for a bit so the bacta doesn’t sting so bad when you spray it.”

“Good point. Guess I’ll be taking them both.” Kanan paid, trying not to think too hard about the cost. They had the funds, even if the shipyard job wasn’t paying as much as most, their expenses were next to nothing with the Ghost parked. Old habits still died hard.

“Here, hold on a sec.” The shopkeeper stepped to the back, coming back with a couple packages and adding them to the bag. “I know it’s rough when you’ve got a kid sick.”

“He is more of a teenager, and it’s really not… I mean you don’t have to.”

“Teens are even worse. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kanan wasn’t too surprised to run into Zeb in the galley. Both the boxes the shopkeeper had tossed in were food, tea that was supposed to be soothing for a sore throat and a package of popsicles. If he hadn’t been so focused on the medicine he probably would have grabbed something like that anyway.

“How’s he doing?” Kanan put the popsicles away to stay frozen, starting to fix the tea. He wasn’t sure how bad the medicine was going to taste, but having something better to drink after seemed like a safe bet.

“Kid was still awake last I checked. Any luck?” Zeb didn’t look up from his datapad, but Kanan wasn’t about to make the mistake of thinking he didn’t care. He wouldn’t even have asked otherwise.

“Yeah, the guy at the store recognized the symptoms. Said this should help.”

“Good, sooner he’s back to normal sooner I don’t have to worry about being kept up all night, eh?”

“You got it.” Kanan debated on sweetener or not, finally adding it and carrying the cup with him as he headed down the hall, letting himself into the room. He froze silently as soon as the door closed behind him, not wanting to interrupt.

“I didn’t have the Ghost for that one. Tub that always had a sluggish right turn no matter how many times I went over the steering or tweaked the power feeds to the engine, and bad habit of engine hiccups if I decelerated too fast. Could jump like a scared Tooka though, especially if I rerouted power from some of the more useless systems before a race.” Hera was speaking quietly, sitting on the top bunk with her legs hanging over the edge and turned away from the door. It took Kanan a moment to realize she was leaning over Ezra where he was hunkered down on the top bunk. She glanced over, meeting his eyes and keeping her voice the same soft tone as before.

“He woke up badly before, between the fever and being in pain. Being able to hear a friendly voice seems to help.”

“Smart idea. Has he taken anything else for it?” Kanan kept his voice just as quiet as he moved over to the bunks. After the fight on the Star Destroyer and resulting concussion Ezra had woken up more than once confused and thinking he was still back there and needing to get to Kanan to free him. They’d taken to making sure someone was on hand to talk him down until the concussion symptoms finally faded. He should have anticipated that a fever might cause the same sort of reaction.

“No, I thought it would be best to wait and see if you could find something better.” Hera said.

“I did. Hopefully. Apparently it’s not that uncommon on planet and it’s not contagious. I’ll look up more information on it later, but the shopkeeper recognized the symptoms right away.” He could see Ezra starting to stir, even if he was keeping his voice low. The kid had his hand tucked up to rest curled against his neck probably unconsciously and he scrunched his eyes closed a little tighter, making a small sound and then tensing, eyes starting to open.

“We’re right here, Ezra.” Hera spoke, and Ezra sat up a little at that, looking at her in wide eyed confusion before he recognized her, settling back onto the bed.

“And hopefully this should work better than what you had before, but I can’t promise about the taste.” Kanan measured out a dose of the first liquid, holding it out for him to take. He was relieved to see Ezra make a face at that, hesitating before he swallowed it down. Ezra following orders without any sort of backtalk wasn’t right. As much as he joked about wishing he was a little more obedient as a padawan he liked the attitude, most of the time at least.

Ezra swallowed painfully and then after a moment he touched the front of his throat, surprised. “It’s numb. Feels weird.” He spoke at a whisper, but it still sounded less forced than before.

“Is that a good weird?” Hera took the bottle from Kanan to close it up. Ezra nodded emphatically.

“Hopefully it’s numb enough you won’t feel this. It’s for the infection itself, but I was warned it might sting.” Kanan unwrapped the spray bottle and checked over it.

“I can do it.” Ezra held out his hand for it.

“You sure?” Kanan handed it over reluctantly at Ezra’s nod. He didn’t hesitate, making sure it was angled right to the back of his throat before spraying, and then gasping, tears springing to his eyes.

“Ezra?” Hera put a hand to his back.

“I’m ok, just, by might sting you mean will sting. A lot.” Ezra made a face, reaching up to scrub over his eyes. “Not for long though.”

“The alternative is weeks of this, it’s apparently hard to clear up without treatment.” Kanan took the medicine back so he could set it aside, for when it was time for the next dose.

“I’ll take the stinging.” Ezra smiled a little, eyeing the mug Kanan was still holding.

“Tea to wash the taste out.” Kanan handed it over as Hera glanced at the chronometer.

“I should check in with Sabine and update her before she goes to sleep.” Hera reached to take Kanan’s hand for support as she slid off the top bunk.

“I’ll stay to make sure the medication’s working like it should.” Kanan waited until she was down and then pulled himself up to sit on the top bunk. He had to slump a little to avoid touching the ceiling, but it was better than standing and leaning in.

“You don’t have to.” Ezra whispered between sips of the tea.

“I know, but I want to make sure you’re not going to have a bad reaction to it or something.” It was a perfectly good reason too, even if Kanan mostly just wanted to stay with him to make up for dismissing his symptoms earlier. He should have known Ezra wasn’t the kind to complain about something if he could help it.

Ezra nodded, finishing off the tea and starting to settle back down on the bed. Kanan reached to get the blanket where it had scrunched up, spreading it out over him. Ezra hunkered down under it, hand going back to his throat absentmindedly.

“Is it starting to hurt again?”

“Not numb anymore, but it’s not as bad.” Ezra whispered, closing his eyes. Kanan watched for a moment, feeling awkward. Hera had obviously been keeping him company talking to him, but he felt strange just starting to talk without expecting Ezra to keep replying.

After a minute he reached out, settling his hand on Ezra’s head and starting to pet through his hair, stroking in a way he hoped was soothing. It seemed to help, Ezra opened his eyes at the first touch, but then closed them again, relaxing with a soft sigh. Kanan stayed that way long after Ezra’s breathing evened out and he finally slipped off to sleep


	4. Chapter 4

Ezra woke up, blinking at the chrono for a long sleepy moment before feeling a sudden stab of panic. His alarm should have gone off hours ago and he was halfway scrambling down the ladder before memory caught up with him. Even if he wasn’t sick they had time off anyway and he silently called himself an idiot, resting his forehead on the cool metal of the ladder rung. Even if there wasn’t anything stopping him from crawling right back into bed, he was awake now. He vaguely remembered being woken up and told to take the medicine again during the night and he looked around, finally finding it on the table with a note under the bottles. The dosage amount was written out in neat basic along with when he could take it. He rubbed at his throat, glad to see it was close enough to time. It wasn’t the horrible stabbing pain that made it feel like he’d swallowed metal shards and they’d gotten stuck halfway down, but it was still painful. Even knowing how badly it would sting and the horrific sickly sweet aftertaste was worth the numbing he knew the first medicine would bring for a while.

He took them both, gritting his teeth after the second and waiting out the sting before he could breathe easily again. Putting both bottles back and scrubbing a hand over his face to make sure his eyes weren’t watering he stepped out into the hall to see where everyone was. He nearly ran into Zeb, barely stopping at the last minute.

“Good, you’re awake. And you look like warmed over bantha dung, kid.” Zeb reached to pat his shoulder.

Ezra swatted at his hand, making a rude gesture.

“What? Didn’t quite catch that. No smart come backs?” The Lasat chuckled. “Was just coming in to check on you. You’re on your own for a bit, the winds picked up last night and brought some branches down and Hera wants them all cleared off and the outside of the ship checked for damage since the rustbucket’s not around to scan for it.”

Ezra nodded, a little surprised he’d slept through it.

“You stay in here, got it?” Zeb reached like he was going to ruffle his hair, making Ezra duck. “Don’t need you out getting in our way.”

Ezra made a face then nodded with a quiet whisper.“Got it.” He didn’t really want to be out in the weather trying to work, but… he wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted.

Zeb nodded approvingly, turning to start back out. “I’d say if you needed anything we’re on coms, but…” He chuckled gruffly and Ezra made a face at his back. It still felt a little better to be treated normally.

Ezra made his way to the galley, starting to make himself just a cup of juice and then changing his mind when he saw the tea container. It tasted a little astringent, but it was a nice change from the medicine and he cupped the mug in his hands, trying to decide what to do. He wasn’t ready to crawl back into bed, and everything he could think of took more energy than he thought he had. Finally he remembered the comment about the coms and made his way to the cockpit. Even if he couldn’t go out, he could still listen in. He settled down in Kanan’s chair, feet dangling as he sipped the hot tea and turned on the com system.

“Zeb, where are you? I need your help with this one.” Kanan sounded annoyed, and even over the com Ezra could hear the sound of rain falling through the leaves.

“Hold on, I’ve almost got my gear on.”

“What did the console lights say? Is the cockpit seeing the sensor array now or not?” Hera’s voice sounded much like it always did.

“….”

“Zeb…” Kanan again.

“Karabast, I checked on the kid and forgot.”

“Then go back and check it, I need to know if the sensors are properly connected.”

Ezra frowned, scanning over the control panel until he could see the lights Hera was talking about. He leaned forward. “They’re lit.”

“What was that? I heard static.”

Ezra frowned, getting close enough to the com just turned his whisper into a hiss, and he didn’t want to try and keep whispering anyway. After a moment he had an idea, tapping his fingertip twice on the com.

“It wasn’t me. Wait, Ezra?” Kanan sounded surprised, figuring it out first.

Tap tap.

“You’re in the cockpit? Don’t touch anything, but are the sensor array lights on? Two taps for yes, one for no.” Hera sounded pleased at that.

Ezra grinned to himself, tapping twice again.

“Perfect. Hold on… are they still on?” Hera waited for the single tap. “Good, it means it’s not a false reading because I just disconnected them, they should be back on now.”

“So we’re going to play at this the whole time? I’m up for it, means I don’t have to jog back and forth to check on that.” Zeb’s voice was amused, and the rain sounds were back. He must have made it back outside.

“Ezra, you don’t have to do this if you’re not up for it.” Kanan sounded hesitant and Ezra stared at the com, not sure how to put something more complex into taps. “But if you want to, it is a huge help.” He grinned at that, tapping out yes and then settling back with his tea.

It wasn’t terribly busy work, mostly just listening to the com chatter and waiting to hear his name. Had he been at his full strength he would have balked at being the one to stay inside while everyone else did the heavy lifting. He wasn’t at full strength though, and the medicine faded the ache in his throat to just a feeling of wrongness when he swallowed, but it also left him feeling sleepy. He fought it as long as he could, intending to close his eyes for just a moment, slumped down in the chair with his empty mug held close.

 

* * *

 

“He probably went back to bed, not like com duty is exactly exciting. S’what I’d be doing, given half a chance.” Zeb rubbed at his arms, trying to shake the rain out of his short fur.

“I still want to be sure. He’s usually reliable.” Hera wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Found him” Kanan spoke just loud enough for the others to hear, looking down with a smile.

“Well that’s a familiar sight.” Hera smiled, peering into the cockpit with them both,

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not, it’s not like you’ve ever fallen asleep there.” Hera sounded amused. She’d relaxed considerably once it became apparent the storm had made a mess but done no real damage to the outside of the ship.

“It was once, once. And I think someone mixed up the sedatives and stimulants so it wasn’t even my fault.” Kanan reached down to gently touch Ezra’s shoulder. As often as he complained about Zeb’s snoring once he was asleep, Ezra was very good at sleeping through noise.

“You’d been running on naps for a week at that point, you probably mixed them up yourself.” There was something soothing about bringing up old arguments long after any negative emotion attached to them had faded and only amusement was left. Hera enjoyed having safe topics to gently tease about.

“And who’s fault was that, Captain ‘It’ll be an easy job, in and out, a few hours tops?’” Kanan patted the shoulder under his hand a few times.

“I honestly don’t recall.” Hera smiled, as Ezra started to stir, blinking slowly.

“Hey, we’re done outside. Have you eaten anything today?” Kanan waited for the head shake. “Didn’t think so, come on.” He gave Ezra a hand up, waiting until he found his balance.

“Sorry I fell asleep.” Ezra whispered, while Kanan was still close.

“Don’t be. You’re sick, and the medicine said it might make you sleepy.” Kanan patted his back.

“Same as the other might sting a little?” Ezra managed a grin up at him.

“Exactly.” Kanan grinned back, giving him a nudge out towards the galley.

 

* * *

 

“Grub’s on.” Zeb passed out plates, Kanan took his, taking a seat on the edge of the wrap around booth. They didn’t usually have fancy meals, and half the time people just ate whenever they wanted to fix something. Now and then though it was nice to eat as a team, and would be nicer once Sabine could get time off without it being too much of a coincidence.

Kanan made sure Ezra took his plate as well, trying not to seem overly concerned. He wasn’t sure exactly when his padawan had last eaten anything. He could have gotten something before, but between the sore throat and the fever he doubted food had been a high priority for him.

“Should we be thinking about trying to find a landing spot with fewer trees to drop branches on us? Those weren’t too bad, but if something bigger were to come down…” Zeb started, waving a hand at the ceiling.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be getting winds like that again anytime soon, not according to normal weather patterns for around here. And anything that was ready to come down probably shook loose this time.” Kanan took a bite of his sandwich, thinking a moment. “And it’s already a long ride in the wet as it is, we’re not going to find anywhere closer that’s any better.”

Zeb made an annoyed sound “Hate spending any more time out in the muck than I have to, I’ve thought about if we should stay in the city, like Sabine is. More people around, but..”

“Not if you want to ever get dry.” Hera said. “ Communications employees get nice climate controlled apartments, but what we’d be able to afford on a worker’s salary is going to be damp and possibly leaky. I checked them out when we first arrived here. I think staying put makes sense, even if I don’t like the lack of line of sight, it means we’re better hidden, and there’s not really any better options.”

  
“Right, guess it wasn’t that great an idea then. Unless… you got any input, kid?” Zeb glanced to Ezra like he was waiting for possible backup.

Ezra just shrugged, taking a tentative bite of the fruit on his plate.

Kanan shared a glance with Zeb and Hera. He knew it was only temporary, but Ezra not being able to really speak just felt strange and wrong. He hadn’t realized how much he was used to his backtalk and just general joining in the conversation until it was suddenly missing. It wasn’t until he glanced back that he noticed Ezra had gone very still, hand against his throat.

“Ezra?” Hera had noticed it too, leaning forward and then her eyes widening, lekku twitching in alarm. “Kanan, I think he’s choking.”

Zeb moved first, reaching over to whack his hand solidly against Ezra’s back.

“Wait! Don’t…” Kanan tried to grab at Zeb’s hand as he smacked him again, making Ezra cough and then sputter, coughing out the chunk of fruit. “You don’t hit someone who’s choking! You could have made him inhale it instead.”

“It’s up now.” Zeb said defensively, as Kanan put his hand to Ezra’s back as he coughed again and then wheezed, clutching at the edge of the table tight enough his knuckles were white.

“Did you knock the wind out of him? Ezra, you need to calm down.” Kanan tugged him closer, and this close he could feel the terror that had taken hold, the body’s very instinctive and very counterproductive response to being unable to breathe, drowning on solid land.

Kanan kept his arm wrapped around Ezra’s shoulder, feeling how his whole body heaved every time he tried to pull in a breath past the swelling in his throat and into a chest held tight with panic.

“I’m right here. Concentrate on your breathing, match it to mine, in and out, just like we’ve practiced.” It was hard to keep his voice calm, and his breathing steady, deliberately invoking the same phrases he used when they were meditating. Not that meditating was one of Ezra’s strong skills. In the Temple he would have been raised with it, younglings learning the basics at naptimes and before bed. It would have been almost subconscious, like catching yourself humming bits of a teaching song trying to think of the right letter. Even after so many years avoiding it, he’d slipped back into the patterns with more ease than anything else he’d tried. Ezra on the other hand stubbornly resisted most of the attempts to teach him unless there was an alternative purpose beyond just relaxing.

_I can’t! It hurts!_

The words weren’t spoken out loud, but they still rocked Kanan back a little before he pressed his hand to Ezra’s chest.

“You can, I know you can. Do it for me.” Kanan rubbed slow circles on his chest, feeling the tension. “Breathe in slowly, two, three, then out just as slow.” Their bond wasn’t a strong one. His bond with his own Master had been a tentative, new thing. Only a few short months together and so many things that had seemed more important at the time. It had still hurt like an open wound when it severed. He was reluctant to risk the same with Ezra, so what was between them was mostly due to his reluctance to discourage Ezra’s untrained and unaware attempts to build it. This close though it didn’t matter, and Ezra’s mind grabbed at any sort of help it could find.

_Kanan, I can’t, I…_

“You’re doing it right now.” He kept his own breathing slow and steady, and finally he felt it starting to get through to him. Once the panic at being unable to breathe started to ebb, so did the tightness in his chest that was only making it harder to draw the air in. Once the cycle was broken it only took a few steady breaths before Ezra was slumping back against him, trembling in exhausted reaction.

It had felt like it had taken hours, but glancing up from the still surprised and worried expressions it couldn’t have been very long. “He’s fine now.” Kanan said it with more confidence than he felt, as much for Ezra’s benefit as everyone else’s. “Just, we’ll skip the solid food until his throat’s a little less swollen.”

Hera was the first to move, getting up “I’ll go get the medicine.” She looked shaken by all of it, but still in control as she walked back to the bedroom.

“Kid, if I find any grey hairs in my beard after this, I’m blaming you, eh?” Zeb managed a strained chuckle.

Hera didn’t take long, getting just the painkiller and measuring a half dose to pass to Kanan.

“Take it slow, small sips, don’t try to take it all at once.” Kanan held the plastic cup up, helping steady it when Ezra’s hands shook. He nodded slightly, and Kanan could feel the way he tensed at the first small swallow, and the way the tension quickly faded away as soon as the numbing went into effect. Between the choking and coughing he had to have been in a lot of pain.

Zeb waited until the last of the medicine had been swallowed down before extending a hand to Ezra. “Something like that’s rough, want to go back to bed?” He waited for the nod before hauling him up, supporting him.

Kanan watched to make sure he wasn’t needed, not that Zeb would need any help carrying someone like Ezra, but after a moment of wobbling Ezra seemed determined to make the walk under his own power. He kept a hand on Zeb’s arm to steady himself for the walk back.

Kanan shared a glance with Hera. As soon as Ezra was out of sight she’d seemed to deflate, settling back at the table hunched over, her hands laced together.

“He’s going to be fine, just give him time.” Kanan tried to reassure her.

“How much time? Shouldn’t we be seeing some sign of improvement by now? Kanan, he can’t even eat.”

“He can drink tea, so we’ll find something until his throat heals up, broth, soup, something like that. And sometimes these things just need to run their course. “ Kanan settled back down, poking at his own food. It always seemed a little wrong to just go back to eating and acting normal, like nothing had happened. But there had been too many times in the past he’d been without to stop eating just because of one incident.

“If he’s not obviously improving by tomorrow he’s going to a medical center. I’ve seen things like this go bad before.”

“I know, and I’m not going to try and tell you not to worry, just give him a little more time.”


	5. Chapter 5

Ezra woke slowly at the feel of a large hand on his back, rubbing firmly enough to shake him a little. He tried scrunching away and then going limp, hoping Zeb would give up.  
  
“Come on, kid. Know you’d rather sleep, but Hera wants to look you over.” Zeb sounded sympathetic at least, but he didn’t stop prodding him until Ezra started sitting up, then he waited for him to climb down the ladder on his own.

“Sorry to wake you, but if we need to go into the medical center it’s best to get there early.” Hera apologized before getting out the thermometer.

Ezra shrugged, even if he could argue there wasn’t much point in it. The medicine made him drowsy, but it wasn’t very restful sleep now that the first night of exhaustion had passed. He dozed off and woke up again feeling like he’d just closed his eyes, but the chronometer said differently. There wasn’t any way for her to know that, and he didn’t feel like trying to whisper it all. Instead he just held still until the thermometer beeped.

Her looked over the readings with a frown. “You still have a fever, even if the medicine’s brought it down. And your throat?”

Ezra opened his mouth. It didn’t feel any better than before, but maybe if it showed some sign of improvement he could go back to bed.

Hera held his jaw gently as she peered, shining the light. “Still looks swollen. I’d feel better if you got looked at by an expert, but I’m not going to force you. Will you go with me to see someone?”

Ezra hesitated a moment, he didn’t really want to go out in the wet and the rain, he wanted to go right back to bed. But Hera looked concerned and earnest and he knew she wouldn’t say it unless she was sure.  He breathed in a sigh, then nodded.

“Do you think you can go by speeder? I’d rather not take the Phantom in unless there’s no other choice.”

Ezra nodded, trying not to look disappointed. He was hoping he’d at least avoid the drive out there through the wet.

“Then get ready and I’ll meet you down in the hanger.” Hera gave him an encouraging smile, walking out.

Ezra gave his bed a longing look, then started changing. He’d been sleeping in his orange jumpsuit, but that got tugged off to be cleaned and his work clothing and coveralls tugged on. He checked to make sure his ID was in its pocket, not going to risk needing it and not having it even if he wasn’t going to be working.

He dragged himself down to the hanger, picking up his rain gear reluctantly. Hera was already there, getting on her own gear. She’d forgone a hood for a rain hat that left her long lekku free.

“It’s not raining right now, but we both know how that can change.” She offered, waiting for him to tug his own gear on.

Ezra nodded, leaving his hood down as he followed her out. It was overcast and foggy, the moisture in the air already starting to condense on the cooler fabric as he walked. The speeders they had now weren’t nearly as nice as the ones that had been lost on Lothal, but they worked. And Ezra was secretly just as glad to have ones that wouldn’t be a great loss when moisture finally did manage to get into the inner workings and corrode something important. Hera got up first, bracing and offering him a hand up.

He took it, swinging in place and then hesitating awkwardly as Hera tugged her goggles down and started the engine. When Zeb rode behind him he just looped an arm around his waist like some sort of giant fuzzy snake or held onto the bike itself. When he’d ridden behind Kanan he knew where not to grab and everything else was fair game. With Hera he found himself stiffly placing one hand on either side of her waist, fairly sure that would be safe and not insulting.

If she was amused at how awkwardly he was holding on he couldn’t see the expression as she started out, steering smoothly. He could feel the differences after a few minutes. Kanan tended towards quick exact corrections, which made it feel a little jerkier. Hera made it feel like she wasn’t even steering at all, and he found himself starting to drift, leaning his forehead against her back. He caught himself a few times nodding off and then finally gave up, wrapping his arms around her waist and closing his eyes, dozing.

He woke up as the speeder started easing to a halt, straightening up. They were parked at a different side of the port from where they usually worked, close to the medical center. Ezra hopped off once they were stopped, a little embarrassed about falling asleep again and not wanting to risk Hera offering to help him down. The sleep had helped a little, at least. He still felt tired, but not like he was going to doze off anymore. There was no way he was falling asleep in public anyway.

Ezra followed Hera into the medical center, glad to let her take charge, offering his ID card when asked and otherwise staying silent, glad no one expected him to talk. Then again, if pyrethroat was as common as Kanan said then that would make sense. Hera was more than familiar enough with their cover information to fill out everything for him.

He took a seat, not really paying much attention until Hera nudged him.

“Cal, Cal Landers.” One of the staff waited at the door with a holopad. He quickly stood up, shooting Hera a grateful look for the nudge. It was hard enough remembering cover names even when he wasn’t sick.

They both went back to one of the exam rooms and he took a seat on the table to wait. It wasn’t long before an older looking Rodian lady was coming in, carrying the holopad with his information.

“Hello Cal, I’m Doctor Tana. You’re here for a severe sore throat? I know you’re likely going to have some problems answering, so I’ll be doing my best not to talk about you as if you’re not here.” She sounded friendly, even if she had a strong Central Worlds’ accent, and Ezra found himself smiling slightly as he nodded.

“Any other symptoms?” She asked, Ezra glanced to Hera.

“Fever and general aches and tiredness.” Hera answered for him.

“Have you been taking anything for it?” She made a small note on the holopad.

“I have the bottles here, he’s been following the directions.” Hera produced the medicine bottles from a pocket. The doctor looked them over and then handed them back to her, getting out a device and holding it to Ezra’s throat. He held still while the scan was taking place, she took it away to check the readings.

“I can do a swab to confirm, but it appears to be a _pyregutta_  infection and you’re doing everything exactly right. You can increase the bacta spraying to once an hour instead of every four for the next couple days, and then back to four or longer when you’re sleeping. It’s fungal, not bacterial or viral so there’s no direct person to person transfer. Stick to fairly thin liquids for the next few days or until it’s significantly easier to swallow, as choking is a risk.” She started prepping the swab.

Ezra bit his lip, thinking of something and leaning in to Hera. “It stings.” It was painful enough taking the bacta with the numbing, he wasn’t sure how much worse it would be without. Thankfully she caught on to what he was saying right away.

“He’s been using the painkiller to numb his throat before the bacta, but if he’s taking it every hour I don’t think that will work.” Hera said.

“I can give you a numbing spray to use, and continue using the painkiller every four hours. Open up for me please?” She waited until he opened his mouth to swab quickly, making him cough.

“I’m also going to advise you not to go into work. If you have time off, use it. They changed regulations such that since pyrethroat isn’t contagious, it does not count towards sick days. I much prefer to see patients like this than when they get brought in after they’ve collapsed from exhaustion or dehydration.”  She took the swab, sliding it into a machine for analysis.

“Does that happen fairly often?” Hera sounded politely curious, but Ezra knew she wasn’t usually one for small talk.

“More now than it used to. It seems every few weeks there’s some new regulation or other making it harder to get time off. There’s even been talk of cutting back on the provided medical care for the workers here.” Doctor Tana sounded personally offended by that. 

“That’s terrible. You’re the head doctor at this center, are you not? I wasn’t expecting someone like you to want to look over a kid’s sore throat.” Hera asked.

“I am, I transferred to Eritt a few years ago, and I like to stay hands on with patients.”

“I noticed the accent. What made you want to transfer?” Hera put her hand lightly on Ezra’s shoulder. He knew better than to interrupt.

The doctor made an amused sound, looking Hera over. “I somehow doubt you don’t know the general atmosphere on Coruscant and similar worlds towards non-humans. I was ‘gently encouraged’ to find a position somewhere out of the way. But what can you do?”

Hera shrugged “I guess it depends on what it is you want to do.”

Doctor Tana turned away to check the readings. “It’s definitely pyrethroat. Treat it like I said before, every hour during the day for two days and then every four hours, and then continue for at least a day after all the symptoms are gone, two would be best. It’s been known to relapse. Come back in at once if you start to have difficulty breathing or any new symptoms. It’s not common, but sometimes pneumonia can develop. No solid food, but plenty of liquids. There’s a nutrient shake you can get, but I’ve yet to find a patient who can stand the taste unless there’s any other option.” She produced a small bottle, handing it over and Hera added it to the ones already in her pockets. “That’s the numbing spray, use as needed but if you run out you’ll need to purchase more.”

“Thank you.” Hera squeezed Ezra’s shoulder lightly and he took that as his cue to stand up to follow her out.

 

* * *

 

“You could have said you were using me for a mission.” Ezra whispered, pulling himself up onto the speeder behind her. The way Hera had been questioning her was obviously trying to feel out how sympathetic she felt towards the Empire.   

Hera paused at that, turning so she could talk quietly. “I’m sorry, that actually wasn’t the plan. Kanan and I were going to approach her later, I didn’t think she’d want to examine someone with a common illness personally. I just didn’t want to waste the chance.

Ezra smiled at that. “Hey, it’s ok, I’m glad it worked out.”

Hera chuckled softly “Kanan’s going to be glad too. He was going to minorly injure himself and then overreact and demand to see the best doctor there. This probably worked out better. ”  
  
Ezra nodded, agreeing with her. She might have been less sympathetic, especially if she found out later that the injury was a ruse to get into the medical center. 

The ride back was quiet. The drizzling rain had started back up so he tugged his hood up, keeping his head down close to Hera’s back to break the wind as they rode back towards the Ghost.

 

* * *

 

 

Zeb was waiting to help get the speeder in and dried off, taking it from them. “Just don’t get too used to this, eh kid?”

Ezra tugged off his rain gear, glad to be back inside. He’d thought maybe a few days inside would have made the wet weather more bearable, but it was only worse being able to remember how nice it was not to be soggy for a while.

“Do you want to go with me to tell Kanan the news, or go rest?” Hera asked.

Ezra paused in hanging up his rain gear to dry, thinking it over and then just heading to the ladder. He trusted Hera that if she had some criticism for him she’d give it directly, and everything else he was there for it.

He went ahead and showered quickly, while he still had the energy for it, tugging on dry clothes. He wasn’t sure exactly who they had belonged to before, he suspected that they might have been Kanan’s, or maybe they had just been bought in case of someone needing them. They were soft, well worn, with the shirt a faded grey and the pants some indeterminate shade of brown. They were dry and just big enough on him to be comfortable, and that was the important part. He was just starting to settle into bed when he remembered Hera still had his medicine with her. Ezra was just starting to get back up when the door opened.

“Thought you might be looking for this.” Kanan held up one of the bottles as he walked over. Ezra reached for it gratefully, the shower took more out of him than he expected and everything was starting to ache again.

“Hera said you did well out there.” Kanan said, watching approvingly as Ezra look the medicine without complaint.

“I didn’t do anything though.” Ezra whispered it, glad for the numbing.

“I know, and that’s why I’m proud. You knew something was up, but you trusted Hera and followed her lead. Not that long ago you might have tried to jump in, but you’re learning patience. “ Kanan reached to gently ruffle his still damp hair. “Now try to get some rest.”

Ezra couldn’t help the grin, nodding in agreement and settling down, remembering to set the chrono to wake him when it was time to take more medicine, closing his eyes as Kanan let himself out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a species name, so I invented one, Adara. Chapter 7 may be a little late, but I will not abandon this, no worries

Ezra was beginning to hate the routine. Check the time or have the alarm go off, take one of the medicines that numbed up his mouth and made everything feel weird, take the medicine that stung horribly every time, half the time get drowsy and stupid for a while, and then repeat all over again. The only plus was that both Kanan and Hera had spent time shining a light down his throat and said it was starting to look better. It didn’t feel any better, and he still couldn’t talk, but he was willing to trust them on that.

He stared up at the top of his bunk, feeling just well enough to be bored without actually having the energy to do anything about it. It didn’t help that both Zeb and Kanan had gone back to work at the port and the ship felt strangely empty with just Hera, and she was frequently busy. He was considering dozing back off when he heard a familiar voice outside. He started sitting up, just as the door opened.

“Hey, long time no see.” Sabine was carrying a fairly large bag and her hair was still wet, probably from outside. She gave him a grin, starting over.  It was a little bit of a shock to see her in the drab Imperial grays and with her hair accented with brighter blue instead of the orange. It helped her fit in, but it still looked strange on her and he hadn’t had much time to get used to the change.

“Sabine.” He tried to talk and it came out more as a mangled croak, making him flinch as much from the sound as the fact his throat reminded him talking wasn’t that fantastic an idea.

“You don’t have to explain anything, I got most of the details from the others. I thought you could maybe use a friendly face who wasn’t going to spend the whole visit trying to poke your throat.” Sabine balanced the bag, starting up the ladder as he scooted to make room for her.

Ezra could have argued that Zeb had been refreshingly unconcerned about his illness, except for the times he actually needed his help with something. The lasat seemed fine with ignoring or teasing, and it made him feel a little more normal about all of it. There wasn’t any real reason to try to tell Sabine that though, and he just smiled.

“I also come carrying presents, this first.” She tugged a wrapped popsicle out of a side pocket on the bag and Ezra took it gratefully. He hadn’t tried swallowing anything thicker than broth since the incident with the fruit. While he wasn’t exactly feeling hungry with the low grade fever that stubbornly refused to break, just knowing he couldn’t eat anything made him want to. Popsicles might just be more liquid, but at least they felt like food, and they were sweet.

“And, ok, none of this is really new. There’s not a lot of art stuff here, which is frustrating. Nothing wet like paint dries in the damp, and it gets into all the dry media, or at least what’s supposed to be dry. So all this is stuff I already had. But don’t worry, it’s not stuff I really used, or it’s stuff I had plenty of.” Sabine rambled happily as she pulled art supplies out of her bag.

“Pastels, I love the color and I love how easy they are to blend, but they’re easy to smudge by accident unless you fix them as you go, and if you do fix them you can’t go back and change them easily. Plus since they’re dry I’d get them everywhere and not even realize it until I’d smudged everything. Then it just looked like exceptionally happy dust had gotten everywhere. Maybe you’ll find you like them a little better.  And if not, maybe they’ll be useful later.” She showed off the set of colorful pressed pigments, setting them on top of one of the sketchbooks she’d pulled out and stacked.

“The books are all odd sizes that don’t really fit anywhere, before I settled on a size I liked best. I’ve hung onto them since they’re perfectly good, but it’s not like I’m going to use them anytime soon. Now the water color set. I got it because I’ve seen some amazing art done with it, but I don’t have the patience. Plus it’s not very forgiving, and using the resist so it doesn’t just blob and seep all over the place is a little tricky. And finally just some pens and pencils because I have enough of those to build a fort if I wanted. What do you think?”

Ezra wasn’t sure what he would have said even if he could manage speech, and he ended up just throwing an arm around her, hugging close and hoping his grin spoke for him.

“I know it’s probably rough being stuck without much to do, but don’t forget we’re here for you, alright?”

Ezra nodded, taking a bite of the popsicle to let it melt.

“So are you going to try them out or make me wait all day?” Sabine leaned her chin in her hand, watching him.

Ezra scrunched his nose, waving the popsicle a little in her direction, not wanting to drip on the brand new to him supplies. Sabine laughed at that.

“Ok, you can finish eating, but then I want to see what you can do.”

Ezra thought a moment, then nudged one of the sketchbooks at her. “You too.”

Sabine leaned in to make sure she heard the whisper correctly. “Are you sure?”

Ezra nodded, taking another small bite of the popsicle before speaking again. “If you need some inspiration…”

Sabine shook her head with a smile. “You have no idea how frustrating it gets, sitting at the plain grey console all day long in the regulation brownish grey chair and everyone in the same grey clothes, I keep half hoping we get made so I can spray some color on the place before I go, liven things up a little bit. It’s… it’s depressing, is what it is. They probably do it on purpose.” She opened up the book, picking up the pencil and tilting it away from him where he couldn’t see before starting to put lines down.

Ezra finished the frozen sweet, licking the last of the sticky syrup off his fingers and feeling a little better after the sugar. He watched Sabine for a minute until she gave him an eyebrow raised look over the edge of the book and he took the hint, picking up the closest sketchbook and a pen, hesitating a moment before putting the tip to paper.

They both sat in companionable silence for a while, until the chronometer beeped. Ezra sighed, putting down the book. Sabine looked up, following his gaze and then reaching to grab both bottles for him, passing them over before going right back to her drawing, pausing and then reaching for the pastels. “If there’s smudges of chalk everywhere it’s going to be all your fault.” She said it cheerfully enough, paying no attention as he took the medicine.

Ezra was grateful for the lack of being watched as he took both. The spray seemed to sting a little less, so maybe it was a good sign and he was starting to heal up. Or maybe he was just getting used to it, either way it only took a minute and he passed the bottles back to Sabine for her to put aside.

“Well this page is done, want to see?” At the enthusiastic nod she passed the open book over. Sabine’s style wasn’t anything like his own. Everything was loose and fast, an attempt to capture something in as few lines as possible. Mistakes were scribbled out, some with frowny faces beside them as quick commentary. It was full of movement, some scribbles started and then stopped partway through. And the most detailed and largest sketch on the paper was… him. He looked to be in mid-attack, lightsaber held high. Color had been applied over the pencil lines, quick strokes and smudges without a great deal of detail in the blues and oranges.

“I thought you could maybe use a reminder that this won’t be forever, you’ll be back on your feet before you know it. Do you like it?”

Ezra wished he could do a great deal more than just nod. He hadn’t even picked up his lightsaber in weeks. Between the mission, and the constant rain, and now getting sick it just hadn’t happened. It was frustrating, and as much as Kanan talked about patience being important it never felt like patience was helping him get any better at protecting people. There wasn’t any way she could know that though, and just the reminder that she hadn’t forgotten meant a lot. He held the book carefully, looking for the fixative that came with the pastels, spraying Sabine’s art carefully so he wouldn’t risk smudging it.

“Can I see yours yet?”

Ezra hesitated, he hadn’t finished, and it wasn’t anything like what Sabine did, but it seemed rude to refuse and he passed the book over. 

“Hey, this is actually really good. You drew Chopper?” Sabine sounded impressed, and not like she was just humoring him, which he look as a good sign.

Ezra nodded with a small embarrassed grin. He didn’t want to risk drawing one of the other members of the crew until he got used to the new materials, since they were so different from the stuff he had found before on Lothal. Chopper was safe enough though, if the cranky droid saw it he was likely going to make fun of it no matter how good or bad it was. He guessed he could have just drawn something random, but while sketching out objects was relaxing he didn’t think it was the kind of thing you showed off. Not when a picture could be taken in a moment and be completely accurate.

“Well if you start running low on anything let me know.” Sabine handed the book back. Ezra’s style wasn’t much like her own if that was how he always drew, deliberate lines carefully placed and more realistic than impressionistic. Given that Ezra hadn’t seen Chopper for weeks and had to be working from memory it was especially impressive.

Ezra was starting to feel a little like a novelty toy, bobbing his head to everything, but it was still the easiest way to agree without having to whisper.

Sabine settled back with a sigh “I do have to go eventually, I want to get a few more things done and I have to be back in the apartments by curfew or it takes forever to get in. You have to show your ID, fill out a report explaining why you were late, either get it excused as an understandable breach of curfew which is filed but doesn’t count as a penalty against you, or an unexcused breach of curfew and you get enough dark marks in your record there’s consequences. Times like this don’t exactly make me homesick for the Academy.” 

Ezra smiled, silently agreeing. He’d attended public school on Lothal mostly for the free food and it had been full of rules, and going undercover at the Academy had been worse. He supposed some people found comfort in the routine, knowing exactly what you were supposed to be doing when, and the Ghost crew did tend to settle into routines of their own. But there was a big difference between Zeb almost always catching a nap after lunch if they were on ship, and knowing you weren’t allowed to deviate from a schedule without punishment.

“Until then though, want to hear some of the stories from work? They’re not all boring, promise.” Sabine smiled at him.

Ezra smiled back, settling in to listen and motioning for her to go ahead. While the job was to observe the other people just as much as the shipping communication, the vast majority of the information she discovered wasn’t actually useful. That didn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining. Weeks before she’d even gotten there one of the oldest employees, an Adara, kept having his lunch stolen. He’d retaliated with bringing in cookies baked with a specific pickled berry that resembled pretty much any other dried fruit when baked. It was local and most of the birdlike Adara described it as sweet with a complex flavor. Most other species described it as unbearably sour and spicy hot at the same time.

The thief had taken one bite and hadn’t even been able to talk for gagging and coughing and frantically searching for anything to drink to try and wash out the taste and quench the burning. Since then it seemed like once a week at least someone was bringing in some variety of fruit cookie and leaving them out to see if anyone would be brave enough to try them. Sabine had gotten the full story when she asked why there always seemed to be baked goods around.

There were other stories too, and while Ezra was sure they’d probably be a little better with faces to put to the names they were still entertaining. He knew they were probably at least a little censored. Hera got the full reports, but for the rest of them it was easier to actually be dumb about her subtle sabotage work than to remember to play dumb.

No matter how he fought it, the painkillers started making him drowsy again. After the second time Sabine caught him nodding off she wrapped up the story, helping him gather up the art supplies to put aside where they wouldn’t get kicked or rolled on while he slept.

“Next time I manage to get away maybe we can trade some more sketches. Rest up and get better soon, alright?” Sabine tugged the blanket up for him, patting his shoulder and letting herself out.

Ezra closed his eyes, stopping his fight against the drugged dozing, feeling a little better already. No matter how long this took or how frustrated he got, at least he couldn’t ever really forget there were people who cared now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure there will be a really good canon reason for Sabine changing her hair in Season 2 that will completely render mine non-canon. Also, ever since I read Ezra's Journal and saw his sketches I've wanted to see Sabine and Ezra being art-buddies.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the long wait, I have not abandoned this, I have just been very busy. Hopefully now I'll be able to update regularly again and finish this.

Ezra walked through the empty ship, fingertips trailing along the walls. Without really thinking about it he ended up outside Kanan’s room, hesitating and then opening the door, letting himself in. Places on ship tended to take on feelings, and he was never sure how much of that was his imagination and how much was because he could sense the Force. The room he shared with Zeb tended to feel comfortable, lived in, safe. The cockpit felt focused, orderly, everything lined up properly and in it’s place. Kanan’s room though, as bare as it was he would have expected it to feel cold, instead it nearly always felt peaceful. There wasn’t much there because there didn’t need to be.

He wasn’t sure if Kanan knew how often he came there when he wanted a few minutes to himself, he halfway suspected he did, but Kanan never said anything about it. He needed the peace at the moment. Understanding that everyone else still had work to do didn’t stop the tense little knot of worry in his gut. That this time no one was going to come back, that he’d been abandoned, that they wanted to leave him behind. That combined with his continuing frustration at his slow recovery put him in a tense, unhappy mood.

He knew they didn’t, Kanan and Zeb had taken as much time off as they could to stay with him, but eventually they’d needed to go back to work to keep from possibly being fired. It was just bad luck that Hera had needed to make a run out in the Phantom that would take most of the day. She hadn’t been able to tell him what, and he was fine with that. It seemed like the more secrets they got to find out about the Rebellion, the more he realized they were keeping from him, which was smart. He knew the price that came from knowing more than everyone else.

Ezra sat down on Kanan’s bed, tucking his knees up and trying to relax. He still hadn’t gotten the hang of the whole meditating thing, which seemed like it would be good for shaking the funk he was in. It felt like he was getting better far more slowly than he should. As long as he stayed on top of his meds he felt ok, just sleepy, but any attempt to go longer between doses caused the fever and pain to come right back. He hung his head with a sigh, scruffing through his hair with both hands, staring at the floor. After a moment he frowned, getting up and checking. There was a small crack where the bunks weren’t quite flush with the floor, and something thin could easily slide under it and be missed. He’d used that knowledge before to prank Zeb, hiding his posters and then trying to play innocent while Zeb looked. It looked like something had fallen and slid under the crack with only the corner sticking out.

He coaxed it out, careful not to accidentally shove it in all the way with his nudging, lifting up the small rectangle of printed material. Kanan’s work ID. He must have dropped it at some point while they were off duty and it slid under the bunk.

Ezra frowned down at the ID in his hand. If Kanan was caught without it he’d be in the same trouble he’d gotten Ezra out of before. Hera would come back if it was an emergency and there was a good chance he’d be able to speak up enough on ship to ship communication for her to understand him. At the same time, if it wasn’t an emergency and her mission was important she’d be very unhappy at the interruption. Possibly being put in a holding cell for a few hours or even overnight wasn’t an emergency, just a huge inconvenience. He could easily see Hera being less than sympathetic when it was Kanan’s own fault he’d forgotten the ID. He couldn’t contact and warn Kanan, even if he had brought his com which wasn’t guaranteed then he doubted he’d be able to speak up enough to tell him what he forgot. That really only left two options, hoping nothing went wrong and taking the ID in himself. He didn’t really want to go out in the rain, but he didn’t really trust in nothing going wrong. With luck he could deliver it and be back on ship before Hera even made it back, Kanan wasn’t in a position to complain about him going out before he was well and it was almost always easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Mind made up he carried the ID with him as he went to get dressed for the rain.

Ezra jotted down a quick note to leave in the cockpit, for if Hera came back before he finished his delivery. That accomplished he led the bike out into the pouring rain.

 

* * *

 

 

It was colder outside than he expected, the muggy saturated hot air giving way to colder rain that pattered down in huge drops. Ezra pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself and got on the bike. The ride from the ship through the woods and to the shipyard was horrible. The rain went right into his face and trickled down wet and cold under his shirt. He was hoping Kanan was going to appreciate this, he owed him. His throat ached dully, but that was more from not taking his painkillers. Falling asleep on the speederbike would be a very bad idea, better to be in a little pain than to be woozy.

Ezra made it in without incident, other than being chilled and wet, parking the bike before he realized he had no idea where Kanan was scheduled to work. That at least was easy enough to find out and he made his way to the dubious shelter of a public computer terminal. The screen was looping departures, arrivals, and any notices, but he ignored that to swipe Kanan’s ID card, requesting that day’s schedule. He leaned against the terminal, as out of the rain as he could manage, tucking the ID back in and waiting for the older tech to slowly bring up the information he requested. The ride had taken more out of him than he expected, and he was debating if he wanted to stop in and grab some sort of hot drink before the ride back and not really paying much attention. The rain drowned out most distinct sounds, but something still made him straighten up a little. A warning pinged across his awareness and he started to move, but not fast enough. There was the sudden jab of something into his back and the jolting pain of a stun blast and then nothing.

 

* * *

 

Ezra woke slowly, disoriented and struggling. He couldn’t seem to move though, and the jolt of adrenaline was enough to shake off some of the fog that clouded his mind. He was in a dimly lit room, and everything ached as he tried to move. He couldn’t do much more than sit up a little more, his wrists bound behind him and his ankles bound to the chair legs. It seemed to be the heavy sort of welded to the floor furniture that showed up in cheaper furnishings where the tenants were likely to run off with anything that wasn’t bolted down.

He tried the bindings with a little more direction instead of mindless struggling, but they held fast. The only good thing was he was fairly sure it wasn’t an Imperial prison. Even the run down brig he’d been in before on Eritt was a little more orderly. This looked more like someone’s mostly empty living space. Not a very good place either, not when he could hear multiple drips of water off in the darkness and the air felt clammy and cold, no climate control at all. He tried to slowly think things through, which was harder than it should be just recovering from a stun blast. Either he was drugged in some way or he was a lot sicker than he was before, which wasn’t impossible. His throat felt like it was on fire, and he was almost glad his mouth was too dry to try and swallow, even breathing hurt. He needed to get out of there, preferably before whoever captured him came back. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. It was hard, even as important as this was it was hard to picture anything in his mind, closing his eyes just made him want to sleep. He focused though, taking a slow deep breath and then coughing painfully. When the fit passed his eyes were watering behind closed lids, but he was twice as determined. He felt the locks at his ankles give way at the same time as he heard the soft hiss of a door opening and strange voices.

“They should have stopped searching transports by now. This is all your fault, nabbing the wrong guy.”

There was a series of words in a language he didn’t recognize.

“Yeah, I know he had the wrong card and humans all look alike, but there’s no bounties out on any humans even close to looking like him. Not close enough to fool even an Imperial.”

There were more unfamiliar words and they sounded like they were coming closer. Ezra struggled with the wrist cuffs a moment and then slumped, trying to look like he was still unconscious. He hoped the light was dim enough to hide that his ankles were unlocked.

“We’ll figure out what to do with him later. For now give him another dose before he wakes up.”

Ezra bit his lip, then made himself relax. He had to get the cuffs off, he might not get another chance if he was drugged again. He focused, blocking out the person who came into the room, focusing just on the locking mechanism in the cuffs. The cuffs came free came free right as he felt a needle jab into his shoulder. If he wasn’t so focused he might have flinched, as it was he was able to mostly ignore it.He held still, hoping he wasn’t going to have to try and fight his way free. He didn’t have any sort of confidence in his ability to put up a struggle or move terribly fast.

It seemed to take forever for the stranger to finally leave the room and he watched through his eyelashes, hardly daring to breathe. Finally though the door closed and Ezra was up on his feet, wobbling badly. His muscles twitched and ached, stiff from being tied in a sitting position for so long, pins and needles running up his legs. He didn’t have time to try and get feeling back, he stumbled as quietly away from the door the other person had left from, looking for a back exit. He found a barred window, thankfully as ill maintained as the rest of the place, opening it as much as possible and shoving at the bars. After a few good shoves they were loose enough to pull free, even if the effort made his chest burn and he wanted so badly to cough. He hauled himself through landing and going to his knees, panting shallowly, far too dizzy. He had to get further away before the drugs kicked in, already things seemed farther away and hazier. Ezra slowly pulled himself back to his feet, leaning against the building before he was able to keep going, stumbling slowly through the slow drizzle of rain. He had no idea where he was going aside from away from whoever had captured him.

Ezra could barely keep one foot moving in front of the other, the only thing keeping him upright was stubborn determination to survive, but that was rapidly losing ground to the exhaustion and new drugs in his system. He wasn’t even really seeing what was in front of him, head down and eyes glazed as he stumbled forward until he ran smack into something. No, not something, someone. He had the bare awareness that he’d run face first into someone else’s broad chest before he lost the battle against unconsciousness, everything going back to black.


	8. Chapter 8

Kanan parked the transport, leaning back in the seat and delaying getting up to help unload. He wasn’t expecting Zeb to come around to the front, shoving something through the window.

“You should probably take this.” Zeb said, dropping the com into his hand.

“Yeah?” Kanan raised the com. He’d left his own back on ship, it was starting to show signs of moisture corrosion and he wanted to replace a few components before taking it back out in the rain.

“Specter Six is missing.” Hera didn’t even bother with pleasantries, her voice tense even with the tone mechanically flattened by the speaker.

“Missing? How?” Kanan was confused, and a little annoyed. Ezra was old enough to stay put without supervision without causing them any trouble.

“He left a note saying that he was bringing you your ID, but Zeb says he’s not there. Any idea where he might be?” Hera asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s still between the ship and here. “ Kanan reflexively patted his pocket, finding it empty. His annoyance vanished, replaced by guilt at judging him so quickly. Ezra didn’t have any real way to contact them, and of course he’d feel like he needed to get it to him right away.

“We could check for the bike.” Zeb offered quietly, Kanan nodded.

“I’ll check and see if his bike made it here and let you know. Specter One out.” Kanan looked up at Zeb “Finish unloading the transport, I’ll check for the bike.” He tried not to worry too much. Ezra was probably still just between the two locations with no way to contact anyone. He’d have felt it if something bad happened to him, wouldn’t he? Except with their bond as weak as it was, all he could tell was that Ezra was still alive, nothing more. That ruled out a fiery speeder crash at least, at best it was just bad timing, at worst he was likely having trouble with his bike and would be unhappy to be stuck in the rain.

That theory went out the window when he finished trudging through the rain only to find what was obviously Ezra’s bike parked in the lot. He pulled up the com again.

“His bike’s here, so he’s got to be here somewhere. Don’t worry, I’ll find him.”

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, Kanan was regretting his optimism. The bike was there, but no sign of Ezra. He’d checked everywhere, asked around, even eventually risked contacting Sabine. She was able to look up that Kanan’s ID had been used in a terminal to look up the schedule, but he hadn’t left any other electronic evidence. It just confirmed what they already knew, Ezra had arrived at the port, then vanished. Sabine was having trouble getting her hands on any security cam footage that might give them more details, and they were running short on leads.

It felt like a betrayal to go to the port authorities and alert them, Kanan was fairly certain if he’d been asked a few days ago if there was ever any reason he’d be standing in front of an Imperial security officer and giving them information on how to hopefully find his padawan he’d have insisted there was no possibility. As it was, the frustrating part was getting them to believe that he was even missing at all.

Yes, Kanan had checked back where they were staying, yes he’d checked all the likely places he’d have gone. Including the bars. Cal would not be off getting drunk anyway. Yes, he was sure. Something must have happened to him. No, he didn’t just run away.

It might have gone on like that for days, Kanan was fairly certain, if Sabine hadn’t managed to get some useful cam footage. It wasn’t much, with the rain there was only a small one on the computer terminal itself, but there was a decently clear shot of Ezra at it and someone larger coming up behind him. It wasn’t clear what the person did, but Ezra started to collapse only to be scooped up over a shoulder, the figure turning to walk out of range of the camera. That made it fairly clear they were dealing with some sort of foul play.

Then the argument was, of course, that there was no way of knowing if ‘Cal’ was still alive or not, but eventually port security agreed to scan all outgoing ships and cargo for life signs until some sign was found, or a reasonable time had passed. Kanan was fairly certain his idea of a reasonable length of time and theirs was going to differ, but he took the small victory. Whoever took Ezra wouldn’t get him offworld easily and it gave them time to find him. They’d find him, Kanan was certain of it. He halfway expected Ezra to walk in at some point while he was arguing with the Imperials, wet and insulted that he’d been captured by amateurs. He didn’t, the feeling from their Force bond stayed quiet and low, he couldn’t sense anything good or helpful, but he didn’t sense anything bad either. He clung to that scrap of hope, and that everyone else on the Ghost crew would understand it wasn’t just empty hope that kept him arguing with the Imperials until he was very sure all the proper security measures were in place. He didn’t have any faith that they’d find him before his crew, but at least their incompetence shouldn’t aid the kidnappers.

He kept his biggest worry firmly buried, not even letting himself fully play out the thought. That when the kidnappers realized the heat was on they’d decide it was too risky to keep Ezra alive. He could have doomed him by locking down port security. But if they got him off planet the galaxy was a very big place. It was their best shot, and Kanan fervently hoped he wasn’t making a horrible mistake.

 

* * *

 

Zeb wasn’t exactly sure if walking around and just knocking on doors and asking people would do any good. It was better than doing nothing though. The port was still scanning for life signs on all outgoing ships and cargo and everyone on alert, but so far nothing over the last several days. Kanan was insistent that Ezra was still on planet and still alive, but beyond that he was unhelpful.

Almost as unhelpful as the few people that did answer the doors, even if when they got a good look at him they were usually polite at least. Still, no one had seen ‘Cal’ anywhere around. He was about ready to call it a day, when he turned a corner and ran smack into someone.

Zeb started to growl at them to watch where they were going when the person started to fall. Zeb grabbed their shoulder automatically, then just stared in shock. It was Ezra. An Ezra that looked like death warmed over, but he was alive.

“Hey. Hey!” Zeb tried to gently shake him, patting his cheek. “Wake up.” Ezra didn’t even twitch. Zeb frowned, then just easily hauled him up and over a shoulder, pulling out his com.

“Specter Four to Ghost. Come in.” With Ezra limp against him he could feel the heat from his fever even though his rain gear and fur, which couldn’t be a good sign. He made up his mind before he even got the return contact and started walking, heading in the direction of the med center.

“Ghost here.” Kanan’s voice came over the com “Any news?”

“I found him. I found Specter Six.” Zeb spoke steadily enough as he walked, trying not to sound too worried.

“Is he alright? Where are you? We’ll find the closest location for a pickup.”

“No pickup, I’m taking him to the med center.” Zeb hesitated, trying to think of the best way to put it. “He’s sicker than before.”

“How much sicker?” Kanan’s voice was sharper with worry.

“Sick enough.” Zeb said bluntly, not happy with the fact Ezra hadn’t so much as twitched as he was carried. He was glad for the soft wheeze of breath right near his ear to let him know Ezra was still breathing.

“We’ll meet you there. Ghost out.” Kanan cut the connection and Zeb tucked his com unit away, picking up his pace.

 

* * *

 

One good thing, Zeb reflected, was when you came in carrying someone unconscious you didn’t have to wait long. One of the med droids on duty scanned Ezra and then sent them straight back into a room where there was a flurry of activity. Medical droids took blood samples and ran scans. One motioned for Zeb to lay Ezra out on the examination table and he did so very reluctantly.

It didn’t take long for the head of the med center herself to bustle in. She reached to take Ezra’s pulse herself, turning on Zeb with a severe look.

“How did he get so bad?”

Zeb bristled a little “Don’t know. If I had to guess it has something to do with the fact he’s been missing for almost four days now.”

“Four days… he’s the reason they’ve had the shipping port on high alert?” She kept talking while checking over Ezra, and the readouts the medical droids were displaying.

“That’s right.” Zeb didn’t really know what most of the readings said, but to his eye they didn’t look good. “How is he?”

“He’s…” She hesitated, as if trying to figure out the best way to say it. “Not good. He’s developed pneumonia, but it’s hard to tell exactly how ill he is since he’s been so heavily drugged. They used an animal tranquilizer on him.” She stopped speaking, giving him a look.

Zeb realized he was softly growling and forced himself to quiet. “Explains why he wouldn’t wake up then?”

“It’ll take hours before he’s conscious again, maybe longer since he’s ill.” The doctor sounded concerned. There was a beep from one of the droids.

“Doctor, the patient is experiencing low oxygen saturation. I would suggest he be moved to a more elevated position for continued examination and treatment.” The droid chimed in.

Zeb didn’t need sensors to see that Ezra looked worse, even paler if possible and his lips were starting to develop an unhealthy blue tinge that never meant anything good on humans. He didn’t wait for the droids, moving closer so he could grab Ezra’s shoulder, pulling him into a partially sitting position and holding him there.

“That’s…. we’ll move him to a reclining bed in a minute.” The doctor seemed surprised but not upset, fitting an oxygen mask over Ezra’s nose and mouth.

“Sorry, tend to act first, you know?” Zeb shrugged, not letting go of Ezra.

“No no, that’s fine. The quicker we get his oxygen sat back up the better. I just didn’t want you to be under the impression he’d need to be held up like that the entire time.” The doctor said.

“If you can’t know for sure how he’s doing until he wakes up, can’t you give him something to get rid of the drugs?” As best Zeb could tell it looked like Ezra was breathing easier with the mask on, but he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t just being hopeful.

“I’d like to hold off on that if possible. The more drugs in his system the harder it will be on him, and the quickest treatment for _pyregutta_ pneumonia is unpleasant. If I put in more drugs to counteract the tranquilizer he’ll be entirely unable to be sedated for the procedure.” The doctor sounded apologetic.

“Yeah, not going to want to wake him up just to torture him.” Zeb nodded.

“Which, speaking of, if you’d allow the droid to take him, the sooner we can get started on treatment the better.” The doctor motioned to one of the droids that had stayed uncomfortably close.

“ Right.” Zeb reluctantly let Ezra go, glad that the medical droid seemed slightly more careful than some he’d seen as it lifted the young human and carried him back deeper into the facility.

 

* * *

 

Kanan spent most of the ride thinking it felt like it wasn’t quite happening. That he’d arrive only to be told some mistake had been made, it was some other kid. After four days of being on edge for any sort of news it was almost hard to believe. It took far too long to get ready and out and Hera didn’t even start to fight him over who got the front spot on the speederbike. She just got behind him and ducked down to hold on.

Logically Kanan knew that no news was good news, but the silent com loomed in the back of his thoughts the entire drive, taunting him with worst case scenarios. What if whatever happened to Ezra happened to Zeb? The kidnappers might have caught up with them and been too much for Zeb to handle. He trusted the Lasat with his life, but faced with backing away from the people who’d hurt one of his team or going for him he was fairly sure what decision Zeb would make. He just hoped it hadn’t come to that, that something would go right for once.

The bike was only mostly stopped when he went to start jumping off it. Thankfully Hera was just as quick on the draw, landing on her feet beside him and starting into the med center without missing a beat.

“Where’s Cal?” Kanan remembered just in time that the receptionist droid wouldn’t have any clue who ‘Ezra Bridger’ was, or at least they shouldn’t as long as Zeb hadn’t slipped up.

“Please fill out a form and you will be seen shortly.” The droid said blandly.

“I’m not here for that, I’m here to see someone who was brought in earlier.” Kanan tried his best to sound like he wasn’t half a second away from just going around and finding Ezra himself.

“I’m sorry, visitation is on a case by case basis and…” The droid started, only to get interrupted by a lady Rodian in a doctor’s coat.

“I’ve been expecting them, come along.” She spoke, opening the door to the hallway for them both.

“Doctor Tana.” Hera spoke gratefully, following closely behind Kanan. “How is he?”

“Things are looking optimistic. He’s still in rough shape, but he’s currently stable and showing signs of improvement. You can see him, of course.” She spoke as she walked, leading them back and motioning to one of the doors. “Your friend said you were on your way and gave a quick description. I already had to tell the port officials that he was in no shape to be interviewed just yet.”

“Thank you.” Hera said, and Kanan nodded in agreement.

Kanan stepped through the door the doctor indicated, glancing around for Ezra. The first thing he spotted was a patient bed, conspicuously empty. Before worry could get too strong a foothold he kept looking, spotting Zeb in a nearby chair. He was leaning back in it, Ezra looked to be wrapped in a light blanket and held in his lap so he was resting mostly sitting upright, like someone fallen asleep during a long shuttle ride. Ezra’s eyes were closed and there was a mask over his mouth and nose connected to large clear tube that seemed to be blowing a blue tinted gas down to the mask. It was hard to tell how much of it was stirring with his breathing, and how much was the machine moving it.

“’Bout time you got here. Kid hasn’t stirred since I brought him in, but then whoever had him pumped him full of tranquilizers.” Zeb offered after a moment, speaking in fairly normal tone of voice. Kanan realized he had been about to whisper and stopped, clearing his throat.

“How did you find him?” Kanan asked, moving closer so he could lightly brush back Ezra’s hair. It was fairly filthy, if the medical center had cleaned him up at all they’d ignored washing his hair.

“He ran into me. Literally. I think he was just trying to cover as much distance as he could away from wherever he was.” Zeb shrugged slightly, then shifted Ezra back up when he started to slide a little.

“He doesn’t need to be in a bacta tube?” Hera said as she and Doctor Tana joined them in the small room.

“No, we only have the one and I prefer to leave it free for emergencies if possible. The concerns are the fungal pneumonia and general weakness from dehydration and lack of nutrition. It doesn’t appear that he’s eaten for days. We gave him fluids for the dehydration. The treatment he’s on now he’ll need to stay on for several more hours, but it should take care of the pneumonia. After that it’ll just be a matter of making sure he eats, small amounts at first, and building his reserves back up.” The doctor said it matter of fact as she checked some readouts. “I don’t think you’ll take me up on this, but if you wanted to you could leave him here overnight and pick him up tomorrow. He should be conscious by then.”

“You’re right, I think we’d all rather stay close.” Hera smiled. “Although if there’s somewhere with a bit more room that would be nice, so we’re not all crowding him.

Kanan glanced around the room, if Ezra could sense them at all while in his unconscious drugged state a dozen feet one way or the other wouldn’t make much difference to him. But the room itself was small, with just the one bed and the chair that Zeb had claimed and a medical droid that seemed to be on low power in the corner.

“There is, I can show you now” Doctor Tana offered.

Hera nodded. “Thank you. “

“I’ll check it out in a minute.” Kanan didn’t want to move just yet, not when he’d just gotten there. And it might give Hera more time to talk to her and keep feeling out her thought on the rebellion. It was a little less cramped when Hera followed the doctor out, but he was reluctant to sit on the medical bed.   
  
“You want to take him for a bit? He breathes easier sitting up.” Zeb offered.

The medical droid seemed to perk up a little at that, offering in an annoyed tone “That is why the bed adjusts to a variety of elevations.”

“Yeah, well. He looked cold on it with just the one blanket.” Zeb grumbled. Kanan could see why, the bed was obviously designed to accommodate beings up to and over Zeb’s height and mass, one short slender human would look lost on it.

“I assure you that his body temperature was well within acceptable parameters.” The droid said, sounding just as put out as before. Kanan wasn’t sure if they were programmed that way from the start, or they picked up that tone shortly after starting to deal with unruly patients and worried friends and families.

“I can take him.” Kanan started, then paused “Just let me get my rain gear off first.” There didn’t seem to be a good place to put it, so for the moment he just laid it out on the unused bed. The droid made an annoyed sound, but didn’t say anything else.

“Figure even if he does go back on the bed at some point, better to have one of us here. Don’t want him waking up and finding himself being held in a strange room and think he needs to bolt again.” Zeb waited until Kanan was ready before standing, careful of the mask and tube, leaving the chair vacant for him.

“Good point” Kanan settled himself, hoping nothing would go numb or fall asleep from him holding still for a while, reaching out to take Ezra. Even dead weight he felt far too light and it wasn’t hard to get him situated, mimicking how Zeb was holding him before. Ezra still felt too warm to the touch, but it didn’t seem like a dangerously high fever. He had to keep reminding himself the lack of response was from the drugs used, not because of his illness.

“Got him? Good, I’m starving. Going to see what they’ve got to eat around here.” Zeb gave Kanan’s shoulder a pat before he started out, leaving him essentially alone in the room.

Kanan wasn’t sure how long he sat, the steady movement of Ezra’s breathing and the soft hum of the machine connected to the tube and mask made it easy to slip into a light meditation. He needed to center himself, release the emotional tension that had built up during the time Ezra was missing. Like this he could sense him easily, even with the muted feeling unconsciousness brought.

By the time Kanan came back to full awareness he felt a great deal better, even if nothing had changed. He put a hand to Ezra’s chest, feeling the slow shallow rise and fall. It seemed like he was barely drawing in any of the medicine at all like this and he tentatively reached out with the Force. Healing wasn’t one of his strongest skills, but he could gently coax Ezra to breathe in deeper, take longer breaths and pull more of the medicated air into his lungs. He rubbed slowly, feeling Ezra respond to the nudging, taking a long deep breath. His silent triumph was cut short when Ezra almost immediately expelled it in a wet cough, hacking harshly in reflex and spraying the inside of the mask with mucus.

Kanan sat very still, horrified and flinching when the medical droid came over, temporarily shutting off the tube and removing the mask, cleaning the mask to fit it back on.

“Good, self expulsion of sputum is preferable to mechanical means of fluid removal.” The droid intoned, starting back to his corner once the mask was back on Ezra’s face and the machine turned back on.

Kanan relaxed some, though he turned his head away at the small amount of blue gas that escaped. It was foul, smelling somewhat like rotten fruit and spoiled dairy, and he was almost glad Ezra wasn’t awake to realize what he was breathing in.

“So coughing is a good sign?” Kanan rubbed over Ezra’s chest, it could have been his imagination but he did seem to be breathing in a little more easily.

“That’s what I said.” The droid snarked, settling back in his spot.

Kanan nodded. He could give Ezra time to rest then try to trigger another coughing fit. Whatever it took to get the infection out of his lungs and airways before the tranquilizer wore off he’d help with. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting his mind drift back towards meditation. It was going to be a long night, but it would be worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

Ezra woke up slowly, gradually becoming aware that he didn’t recognize his surroundings. There was no feeling of urgency or worry though, so he took his time coming to full consciousness, blinking up at the unfamiliar ceiling before turning his head to take in the rest of the room. His half formed fears that maybe he was captured again vanished when he spotted Hera in a chair nearby, focused on the cup she was drinking from

“Hey.” Ezra formed the word with a little more surety than he had in a while and then paused, taking a deeper breath and swallowing. His throat and chest felt a little strange, heavy almost, but there was no pain. It took a little more effort to talk than normal, but it didn’t hurt his throat.

Hera looked up immediately when he spoke, a relieved smile appearing on her face. “You’re awake. Kanan said he thought it wouldn’t be too much longer, even if the medical droid insisted you’d be out another day. How do you feel?”

Ezra cleared his throat experimentally, trying to sit up. He was laying on a bed with the one half already tilted up so it wasn’t as far to go, but it was still more of a struggle than he expected. “Nothing hurts, so that’s better. Much better. But it’s hard to move.” He made a face as he did manage to get to a sitting position, trembling with the effort.

“That’s normal, considering you were tied up and drugged for almost a week.” Sabine’s voice cut in as she entered the small room carrying a food tray.

Ezra smiled, then blinked. “Wait, I was gone a week?”

“Not quite a week, four days before we found you, then you fell back unconscious.” Hera clarified.

“Oh. Where is everyone else? And is that for me?” Ezra eyed the tray Sabine was carrying, now that he was starting to feel more alert and he could smell the food he was quickly becoming aware that he was so hungry it almost felt nauseous.

“Sorry, this is for us. Doctors orders are that you’re going to be getting something easy on your stomach at first.” Sabine held the tray down, so Hera could grab a bowl off of it.

“Zeb’s still sleeping, it’s early morning right now. Kanan’s currently stalling the officials who’ve been investigating your kidnapping. They’ve been wanting to wake you up and talk to you since yesterday afternoon, but thankfully Doctor Tana’s kept them out.” Hera filled him in.

“And Chopper’s watching the ship.” Sabine added.

“He’s not back at the barracks?” Ezra rubbed over his chest, clearing his throat. At least talking seemed to be getting easier.

“No, we’re heading off planet in a few days, our replacements have been trickling in as they get transportation.” Hera said.

“Because of me?” Ezra asked, feeling guilty.

“No, we’re all tired of the rain and wet, and it’s headed into fall. This location almost never gets snow, but it gets tons of cold rain and sometimes sleet and ice. Plus it seems a little dumb to keep one of the best pilots in the galaxy grounded too long.” Sabine said.

“We do what we must.” Hera smiled at the compliment, setting her mug and bowl aside. “I’m sure Doctor Tana would like to know that you’re awake and she can clear you for getting something to eat.”

“She’s agreed to come with us . Well, not with us specifically. She’s going to be joining us later. Having someone with her skills will make a big difference.” Sabine looked pleased, and Ezra couldn’t blame her. It was great news.

“For now though, try not to let her or anyone else know that you know she’s made plans.” Hera cautioned, as she stepped out to find the doctor.

 

* * *

 

Ezra took the small cup, eyeing the contents skeptically. It was brown and somewhat thick looking and reminded him of the liquid contents of the sewage pipes, just without the smell.

“It tastes much better than it looks, I assure you. Otherwise I’d never get anyone to drink it.” Doctor Tana sat down in the chair near the bed.

“Thanks.” Ezra took a careful sip, it was warm enough to be comforting but not so hot to risk burning his tongue. And she was right, the taste wasn’t bad. He didn’t need to be warned to take it easy. There had been times on his own where he’s gone days without eating and if he ate too much at once it would come right back up.

“The good news first. Your pyrethroat is completely cleared and all your cuts and bruises were superficial and are well on their way to healing. How does your throat feel?”

“It doesn’t hurt, but it feels… weird.” Ezra reached a hand up to rub at his neck, habit at this point.

“That’s normal and it will pass. There’s a small amount of lung scarring from the pneumonia, it doesn’t affect your overall lung function, but you will be more susceptible to further lung infections in the future. Basically, if you get a bad cough, get it checked out sooner than later.” The doctor said.

“I can do that.”Ezra took a deep breath, wondering if all the odd feeling was after effects or if some of it was from the scarring. “What’s the bad news? Or was that it?”

“That was part of it. Thankfully the rest of the bad news isn’t too bad. You’ve been sick for a while and the captivity was hard on you, you’ll need to take it easy and build your strength back up. Just don’t be surprised if it takes longer than you expect.” Doctor Tana paused, tapping her datapad “If you feel like you’re not making any progress, or backsliding, get it checked out. But I don’t want you thinking you’re going to be stuck feeling weak and out of breath forever when it takes time to get well again.”

“So I need to be patient. I’ve been doing a lot of that, I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it.” Ezra joked. Even if he was weak he had his voice back, and that was worth it.

“Will you be up for meeting with the Imperial agents? They want to ask you questions about your captivity.” The doctor asked.

Ezra paused, thinking. He hadn’t been able to ask Hera if there was anything he should or shouldn’t say, but there shouldn’t be anything he could give away as long as he followed the mission guidelines.

“Could someone sit in with me? So I if I need a break, or some water or something.” Ezra asked. “And are my clothes around here somewhere?”

“Certainly, we’ll get something set up and get you dressed.” The doctor stood, letting herself out.

Ezra didn’t have too long to get bored before a medical droid came in, carrying his clothes. They were clean, which was a relief. He didn’t really remember what state they’d been in when he’d woken up, but he really doubted he’d have wanted to put them back on like that.

Tugging the medical gown off he could see more injuries that he didn’t remember. Bruises that were healing, scrapes that looked to have been treated, and while the bruising wasn’t as visible around his wrists he could feel the deep ache when he pressed on them. He wouldn’t have wanted to get dressed without the droid, his limbs felt heavy and uncooperative. Thankfully the droid was fairly efficient at tugging the fabric into place, fastening and unfastening as needed, until Ezra was finally fully clothed. He would have managed it, but he never wanted to face Imperial questioning without pants if he could help it.

The droid didn’t wait for him to walk the distance, shoving a wheelchair behind him until he sat and then pushing him out briskly to the next room.

Kanan was already there facing the two supply officers, and Ezra’s first thought was he looked like he needed to be the one in the wheelchair. He looked exhausted, circles under his eyes dark enough to be bruises, but he straightened up when he caught sight of Ezra.

“Good to see you up. Ready to tell ‘em what you remember? If you remember anything. The doctors have all been sayin’ you might not remember much.” Kanan moved to take the seat beside him, sitting down and leaning back, crossing his ankles and looking a lot more relaxed than Ezra knew he was.

“I don’t remember much. I was at the information terminal and then the next thing I knew I was waking up somewhere I didn’t know.” Ezra paused to catch his breath, coughing into his hand. It felt like his chest was sore, but the cough itself wasn’t wet or painful.

“Why were you there? According to reports you were unable to work due to illness.” The officer on the left eyed him at the cough, like he was something gross to be avoided.

“I was, but he forgot his ID, left it behind.” Ezra nodded in Kanan’s direction. “You’re supposed to have your ID on you, and I thought I’d be ok making the trip.”

“And you couldn’t just have called to tell him?” The officer arched an eyebrow.

“Have you ever tried to make a com call with pyrethroat?” Ezra rubbed the front of his throat in memory. “I woke up tied to a chair and heard two people talking, one was talking in Basic, the other wasn’t. One came in and I pretended to still be asleep. They jabbed something into my shoulder, it hurt, then left. I remember getting the ties off my wrist and finding an open window to go out. And that’s all I remember before I woke up here.”

“Do you remember what they were saying?” The officer wrote something down.

“Not really. I was more interested in getting out of there.” It wasn’t that much of a lie, Ezra thought he remembered the gist, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Do you think you could identify the voices if you heard them again?”

“Maybe? I couldn’t say for sure. Everything was really hazy.” Ezra shrugged a little

“And you didn’t recognize where you were?”

“No.” Ezra had been kind of hoping it would be quick, but it didn’t look like it was going to be.

The questioning went on for a while, with a lot of backtracking Ezra guessed was to try and trip him up. He did find out eventually that they’d caught two people who’d been ordering a large amount of the same animal tranquilizer they’d used on him. He also found out that he’d gotten caught up in a popular scam. A wanna-be bounty hunter found someone who came close to fitting the description of someone with a bounty on them, grabbed them up, and then tried to convince someone, usually a low ranking Imperial trooper, to turn the captured person in for a share of the bounty. The idea was that the trooper would get the recognition as well as half the bounty, and the bounty hunter got half and didn’t have to deal with the paperwork. The reality was, if the scam worked a trooper was left with a kidnapped person with no bounty on their heads, and the bounty hunter had taken off with the payment.

He kept quiet on the fact that with the wrong ID they’d mistaken him for Kanan. There was no reason for anyone to look too closely into why Kanan’s false persona would be close in appearance to someone on the Imperial wanted list.

Finally though the doctor herself stepped in that the questioning had gone long enough. Ezra was glad. Kanan had tried a few times to interrupt, but the supply officers had just ignored him.

Ezra sagged back in the wheelchair, not even trying to stay sitting up on his own as Kanan wheeled him out of the room. He coughed dryly into his hand, then took the glass of water the doctor pressed on him. “Thanks.” He sipped, his mouth dry from all the talking.

“The good news is that with that over with you’re free to go.” Docor Tana gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I can go? Just like that?” Ezra perked up at that, despite how tired he was.

“Does he need any medicine? Anything else?” Kanan looked skeptical.

“Just time, rest, and good food. I’m sure you can manage that easier than having him stuck here.” Doctor Tana waved a hand.

They met up with Hera, Zeb, and Sabine back near the room he’d woken up in and Zeb took over pushing the chair. After a minute Ezra noticed he was being pushed onto a lift, not out towards the waiting room.

“Where are we going?” Ezra asked, looking around the lift. It was much larger than he was used to, probably for moving large medical equipment.

“After all of that, we’re not taking the bikes back. Hera and I made a trip out while Zeb and Kanan stayed with you.” Sabine answered, as the lift opened up onto the roof.

There on the landing pad and tucked right up to the covered walkway was a welcome sight. The Phantom.

“You guys are geniuses.” Ezra grinned. He’d not been looking forward to the long wet ride back trying to stay behind someone on a bike, even with all of them crammed in on the Phantom it was still going to be a far more pleasant trip.


	10. Chapter 10

Ezra walked slowly to the galley, keeping a hand on the smooth side of the ship. He knew he could have asked anyone for help and gotten it, either someone to fetch him whatever he needed or to walk with him and make sure he made it back and forth. Right now though the worst that would happen if he ran out of steam would be that he ended up sitting down for a while in the hallway, hardly something to worry about. Chopper might think it was funny and try to roll over his toes, but he’d survive that.

He breathed hard, more like he had been sprinting halfway across the planet than just walking slowly down the hall. It was frustrating, but at least there wasn’t anyone to see him struggling. Later he knew it would be easier to work and regain his strength knowing there was someone else there to catch him when he reached the edge of his endurance, so he could push himself harder. For now, though, he just wanted to get used to walking around easily again.

He made it to the galley without much energy left to actually fix any food, grabbing a ration bar and sitting down heavily on the seat. They were always overwhelmingly bland, but at the moment they were perfect. Not only did it only require the effort needed to unwrap the bar, but it was solid food. Something he could actually bite into, and chew, and swallow without any pain or protest from his throat. Not only that, but he was still enjoying the fact that the very idea of food finally appealed after so long of the fever stealing his appetite.

He managed half of the bar before his stomach started to protest, and wrapped it back up, tucking it and a small carton of juice into a pocket for later. Everyone else was busy with last minute details supervising the mission transfer. Ezra hadn’t even gotten to meet the people who were taking over the loading duties, but it was better that way. There was enough turnover of off-worlders that their leaving wouldn’t raise any suspicions. If anything, him getting pyrethroat had only made it more believable that they were headed out to find work someplace a little drier before winter really hit, and before anyone else could catch it.

Ezra finished catching his breath and got up, starting slowly back down the hallway. It seemed longer this time, and his legs felt shaky. Instead of waking him up and giving him any energy with his belly full he just felt sleepy. He stopped barely into the hall, leaning heavily against the wall as he tried not to give into the temptation to slide down and sit for a while. After a few moments he heard a curious beep behind him.

“Just go around, there’s plenty of room.” He sighed, then felt Chopper press closely enough to his side to bump him a little.

“I said there’s plenty of… oh.” Ezra shut up at the second rock and bump as Chopper let him know he was being stupid, and he shifted to transfer his weight from leaning against the wall to bracing himself against Chopper’s dome. “Alright, but no recording this and playing it back later.”

With Chopper’s slow rolling support it was easier to go step by careful step back down the hallway, starting past Kanan’s door and towards the room he shared with Zeb. He paused a moment when he could see it had be left unlocked. “Hey, hold up just a minute, Chop?”

What he’d used to assume was just good instincts and luck he’d found out was usually the Force. Before he would have assumed Kanan was there without really knowing why. Like this though he could feel him on the other side of the door, relaxed and probably meditating or something similar. If he didn’t want to be disturbed he would have left it locked, wouldn’t he? He knocked on the door.

“You can come in, Ezra.” Kanan’s voice came through the door and Ezra smiled, opening up the door to a field of stars hanging in the air.   
  
Ezra let go of Chopper so he could step inside, a little shaky but managing the few steps inside and over to Kanan’s bunk so he could sit down, leaning back against the back wall to look up at the stars as they slowly moved, then shifted. Chopper made a rude sound, backing out of the room to let the door close.

“I’m trying to compare the star charts in the holocron to what we currently have on file, to see if there’s any information on one that’s not on the other.” Kanan spoke after a moment, not breaking his concentration.

“Sounds, uh… very…” Ezra tried to think of a good word.

“Tedious?” Kanan smiled slightly, the stars slowly swirling. “It is. But maps can be tampered with. It’s an old smuggler’s trick actually, if you put a little flaw in your maps it acts like a signature, and you know where they came from, or if someone makes a copy.”

“Could I learn how to do it?” Ezra asked, curious. Kanan made it look effortless, but then again he made a lot of things look easy that were anything but.

“If you’re asking about eventually, yes. If you’re asking if you think you can learn it right now then I’m not sure.” Kanan took a breath and turned his head to look at him, the stars drifting in and into a bright point of light as the holocron closed.

“Can’t hurt to let me give it a shot, right?” Ezra smiled, trying to look more alert than he felt.

“No, I guess not.” Kanan picked up the holocron, taking the couple steps to the bunk and sitting down beside him, passing it over.

Ezra turned the cube over in his hands. As before it seemed solid, no catches or latches to be felt. “So what’s the trick to it?”

“It’s not a trick. You need to focus on getting it to tell you what you want it to. In this case it’s the star charts. Concentrate on it, try to picture them.” Kanan kept his voice even.

Ezra focused on the cube, closing his eyes, the holocron wobbling and lifting a couple inches up into the air.

“No, that’s not it, you’re levitating it.” Kanan put his hand under Ezra’s, supporting it as the cube plopped back down. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed. If I was any more relaxed I’d be asleep.” Ezra sighed, trying to picture what he saw before, the little points of light all slowly swirling around the room.

After a long moment the holocron wobbled, starting to lift itself up and open. At the first sign of light through his closed eyelids Ezra opened them, and lost focus, the holocron closing itself back up once more.

“That time was better. You’ll get it.” Kanan didn’t take his hand away, and Ezra was thankful for it. He could feel little tremors along his arm at holding his hand out, even braced against his body like it was.

It took a few more tries before for a few long seconds he had the stars filling the room. And Ezra had wondered, with the way Kanan kept his eyes closed while he was using it, how he was able to see the charts. Like this he knew. The stars weren’t just specks of light hovering in their air, they were in him. Behind his eyes and filling his mind and like he could reach out and touch them and this is a binary system and this is an asteroid field like scattered dust and here are dwarf planets barely clinging to the outmost edge of their star’s gravity well and… and then his concentration broke, the stars winking back out.

“I almost had it.” Ezra murmured, opening his eyes to stare at the cube.

“You had it. It’ll get easier each time.” Kanan sounded encouraging. “You just need to…”

“Be patient?” Ezra interrupted with a tired smile.

“Practice. But be patient works too.” Kanan smiled back.

“Why is it so hard now? The first time I don’t think I really did anything and it opened and stayed that way.” Ezra had been curious about that, but Kanan never liked to talk much about how things were before, and a message about the Jedi Order falling definitely fell into the category of things before.

“The holocrons are very complicated pieces of technology. They respond to your orders, but they can be preset to activate in different circumstances. If you try to access this one while in pain for example, it’ll try to bring up medical information for you. How were you feeling when it activated?”

“Alone. Not… good. I mean I figured I was going to get myself out of there, but I didn’t think there was any way you guys were coming back for me. It could tell that?” Ezra eyed the cube.

“The message was sent out to warn anyone who’d survived being betrayed. I imagine Master Kenobi had a fairly accurate idea of what that would feel like.” Kanan spoke quietly.

“I’m sorry. I never mean to bring up bad memories, it’s just…” Ezra curled his fingers around the holocron.

“It’s not your fault, and because of this we’ve got the chance to make new, better memories. For everyone.” Kanan squeezed his hand gently.

“Yeah.” Ezra looked at their hands and then managed a sheepish half smile, turning his hand over to deposit the holocron back in Kanan’s. “Maybe I should watch you with it a little longer, so I’ll be ready next time.” It was a good excuse to cover the fact that he was getting tired faster than he thought he would and he’d probably need to ask for help back to his bunk for a nap.

“Alright.” Kanan took it, standing back up to move over and kneel back down, settling back into a meditative position. It seemed he barely closed his eyes before the holocron was blossoming into stars.

“Show off.” Ezra muttered, loud enough for Kanan to hear from the way his lips twitched in an almost smile. He’d just stay and watch them a little longer before he asked for a hand back to bed.

Kanan found three minor differences between the holocron’s star charts and the ones they had from the Rebellion before he decided he’d been searching long enough for one session. He opened his eyes, taking a deep breath, and he wasn’t surprised to hear an answering soft almost snore from across the room. There wasn’t really any reason to wake Ezra up just to haul him to his own bed, so Kanan just tugged him down into a slightly less uncomfortable looking position and draped a blanket over him. He could sleep while Kanan wrote up his report.

 

* * *

 

“Come on, wake up, you’re not going to want to miss this.”

Ezra grunted, trying to roll away from the hand shaking his shoulder before the voice registered and he opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. “Sabine?”

“Yeah. We’ve been letting you sleep, but come on. I know you’re going to like this.” Sabine stepped back to give him room to haul himself up and out of bed.

There was a moment of confusion at the room and being on the bottom bunk, until he could recall that the last thing he remembered was watching Kanan with the star charts. He must have fallen asleep.

“What is it?” Ezra rubbed over his eyes, managing to get up on his feet. He was less steady than he’d like, but for the moment walking around on his own seemed like a viable option.

“You’ll see, come on.” Sabine waited until he was up before starting to lead him out, and up to the cockpit.

It took a little longer than Ezra would have liked, and he was out of breath by the time he got there. He gratefully sunk into Sabine’s chair when she indicated it, bracing herself between the two chair backs. Everyone else was already there.

“Everyone ready to say goodbye to Eritt?” Hera flipped a few switches, the low hum of the engines lost under the pounding of rain beating down all around them like a waterfall.

“Good riddance more like. Though you sure it’s safe to fly in this weather?” Zeb leaned forward, looking out at the utter lack of any visibility.

“Of course. Sky’s that way.” Hera confidently lifted them off and the rain changed direction. Kanan didn’t look concerned either, relaxed and leaning back in his chair.

Ezra watched as the pounding rain gave way to sudden fog, dark thick clouds that streamed by, surrounding them and seeming to trap them for several long moments. And then…

Sunlight. Bright enough he winced, putting a hand up to shade his eyes and he was relieved to see he wasn’t the only one, Zeb had covered his at the sudden flood of light, even if Sabine was staring at it with barely a squint.

“I forgot how much I missed the sun.” Sabine murmured, leaning forward without losing her grip on the seats. “And colors other than grey.”

“Yeah.” Ezra grinned, even as they left the clear bright upper atmosphere for the clean darkness of space. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“No one thought you’d want to miss that.” Kanan turned to look at him, echoing the smile, then turned to Hera “Where to now?”

“We’ve got a few stops to make, but unless anyone has any objections I think our next destination should be somewhere a little drier.” Hera waited until the computer gave the go ahead, and then pulled the lever to make the jump to hyperspace.

Ezra watched the stars stretch out into long streams of light, surrounded by the people he cared most about, and settled back to listen to everyone make suggestions, serious or not so serious. In the end it didn’t really matter that much, he was already exactly where he wanted to be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Jillie_chan and AriesOnMars both helped look over this, catch typos, and offer suggestions. They're awesome.


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